Adore
by thegrunch
Summary: Alex had a certain disregard for her own mortality, and it was the only thing about her Seth hated.
1. one (alex)

My cat was in heat.

I had recently been placed under the dreaded curse of continuous inconvenience, and the demon cats excessive meowing and nudging and need for attention was tragically predictable. It was nearing four in the morning, and this cat had no intention of letting me sleep, an inconvenience cherry on the inconvenience sunday.

The poor cat. She just wanted to get laid.

However, this did not excuse her from waking me from the first good night's sleep I've had in months. I looked down at her from my warm, comfortable bed. In the dark of the night, I could only see her bright green eyes, but I could definitely hear her claws scratch up the floor's surface. She needed catnip.

My bare feet hitting the cold wooden floor was all I needed to be wide awake . Selena rubbed her head against my ankles as I made my way towards the mason jar full of cat weed I kept for emergencies. Emergencies consisting of Selena's separation anxiety, meeting strangers, and wanting to have a cat orgy.

"You're gonna drive me crazy, you demon," I whispered, placing a bud on the ground for her. She nuzzled my leg.

Admittedly, I was grateful for the wakeup call. Back home further south, I spent most nights awake, wandering around the city, occupying skateparks. Ever since we moved over to Washington, I had been doomed to long exhaustive days of unpacking, meeting strangers, and finding therapists. Days left me drained and unable to explore the life around me.

Guess I had to thank the horny cat.

Hastily throwing on a dirty sweatshirt and old sneakers, I stumbled out of my room and down the stairs, not caring about the noise. My parents were dead asleep, I could hear from their viscous snores that ripped through the house.

I stepped out the front door and felt the temperature drop significantly. I guess my dads didn't wanna give up warm California summers. I could understand why. Washington was cold, foggy, and deprived on any sunlight. I loved it.

Although it was the dead of night, I could tell there was a thick fog that settled over the town. I enjoyed this type of weather more than any other kind. The sun could be nasty, and, despite the chill that went down my spine, I felt at ease for the first time in months.

Moving here included a lot of firsts.

The grass was dewy, and the bottom of my sweatpants soaked up the moisture. I had lived in a city my whole life, and I was never able to experience any sort of nature like this, like it was my home.

The road I lived on was a dirt one, which to be honest I was surprised wasn't turned into mud at that point. To the right, the road continued, and I knew that if I followed it far enough I would end up in the center of town. To the left, the road winded, and I had no idea where it may end.

In the past, I've been critiqued as pretentious, egotistical, and cliche, all of which were a reflection of my personality and artistic nature. With that in mind, I suppose it made sense that I was drawn to the path of uncertainty. The Robert Frost in me tugged on my heartstrings towards the left. The Charles Bukowski in me called me an idiot and told me to go inside. But I guess I was always more of a romantic than a cynic.

Or even a realist.

In actuality, my city-dwelling self had never stopped to consider the very real possibility there might be a wild animal with the potential to hurt me out there. I had believed for the majority of my life that the only danger to me was men on the streets. "Be afraid of the one in suits the most," my dad had once told me, "because they're the hardest to get in court." My other dad promptly whacked his arm after he said that, but it was true enough to be said.

There was something to be said for how peaceful, albeit freezing, it was here in La Push, Washington. I found myself walking with my hands in my pockets and head tilted back to stare at the night sky. It's a view I never had back home; the stars were bright enough to make out constellations and the trees wrapped around the sky like a picture frame.

For a fleeting second, I missed my friends. I was glad to be out of the sweaty hell hole that was San Diego, but I missed the carefree attitude of the girls that made my life enjoyable, and I wished they were here to enjoy the sky with me. They'd pass around a bottle and then I'd have to get their drunk asses home, but it would be worth it to hear them drunkenly giggle.

The thing was, I was grateful to be out of California, and there would be few things I would miss. My friends there were real friends. They were crude and honest and fun and had the confidence I've always wanted. I'm poetic enough to see them when I look to the moon.

In many legends and mythology, the goddess of the moon was a powerful solitary being, who stood as a strong guardian. I saw that goddess in my friends.

I tried to be poetic. I stopped still in the middle of this dirt road and let me head fall back behind my shoulders. I closed my eyes. I tried to sense the environment around me. My hair fell off my shoulders and down my back. I felt the wind on my skin. It was cold, like cold metal against my exposed skin. I inhaled, wanted to fill my lungs with the rustic smell of trees and the nearby ocean. I was expecting that, but instead I inhaled the strong scent of sugar. It was strong and almost unbearably sweet.

Tingles shot up my spine as it curled inward on instinct, telling me there was something behind me. I tensed, shooting my head back up. There was no sound but the wind rustling through the trees. Slowly, I turned my head, anticipating exactly what I saw. A man, about fifty feet back, legs spread in a fighting stance. A silhouette. A threat.

I whipped my head back around and cursed myself for leaving my knife at home. I looked to the ground, hoping for a rock or something I could bang his head if he attacked, which looked likely. I was panicking. Quick flashes of what he might do to me ran through my head like a twisted game of Would You Rather: Predator Edition. But then I heard it, a large thud, like an unstoppable force hitting an immovable object.

Hesitant, I turned to see him. But he was gone, disappeared into the night. There was no trace of him. I inhaled, the scent was gone. Instead, it was replaced with the rustic smell, which was stronger than I expected. Frantically, I searched for any sign he might have been there. My feet carried me in the direction where he once stood, but there was nothing. No footprints in the dirt, no rustles in the trees. He vanished.

And yet, I was stuck with the feeling I was not alone the entire walk home.

The next morning I was woken up by the smell of bacon and the sizzle of the pan. My stomach rumbled at the smell and drew me towards the kitchen, though my eyes still wanted to stay glued shut.

The con of having a one story house: you can smell everything.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty," my dad said to me as he manned the stove. Though his words sounded calm he looked as if he was desperately trying to avoid the burning grease popping off the pan.

"Mornin' dad. Where's Baba?" I asked, stealing a piece of cooked bacon off the counter.

To people who don't have to gay fathers, differentiating between 'dad' and 'dad' might seem confusing and difficult. To me, it was simple, my white dad was 'Dad' and my Arab dad was Baba. It was the beauty of being raised in two cultures: two different words for 'dad' and I didn't have to resort to 'daddy.'

"He went out to work. We both decided we've had enough time to settle in, and so we're going to start living again," he smiled at me, "which means it's time for you to enroll for classes."

I sneered. "Sounds gross. Can't I just drop out of high school and become a stripper? I'm eighteen you know."

"How are you gonna settle down and marry a nice man or lady if you're a stripper?"

"Isn't that how you met Baba?"

My father gasped and light whipped my arm with a dish towel. "Alexandra! I swear, why can't you be like other girls and be too disgusted to say that?"

"Haven't you heard Dad? I'm not like other girls." My father rolled his eyes at my deep rooted ironic humor, knowing I've made that joke at least twenty times since we moved to La Push. "Anyways, I don't wanna go to college, so I don't need high school." My dad raised a bushy eyebrow at me. "You don't need a diploma to open a bookstore."

"No one's gonna rent a store to a girl who has no high school diploma or any basic knowledge of running a business. Besides, school's fun. I mean, not for me. I was bullied for being gay. For you it's fun."

He slid the rest of the bacon off the pan and onto the plate. Turning off the stove, he faced me. "Or, at least, it'll be better here than in San Diego."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Everything's better here than in San Diego." I finished off my strip of bacon. "I'm gonna go finish unpacking my clothes."

His hazel eyes widened. "You haven't finished unpacking?"

"I like, clothes, Dad. Sue me."

In actuality, I just wanted to retreat to my room, play loud music, and contemplate whether or not I almost died last night.

* * *

 **yah hunty i know the chapter's boring but i wrote this when i was bored as a sort of introduction so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. takes place post breaking dawn. flame me if u want i don't really care this is just for fun lol**


	2. two (seth)

Seth woke up in a devastatingly good mood.

Despite his three hours of sleep, he hopped out of bed and all but sprinted out the door. Maybe it was killing a leech that was about to suck the life out of an innocent girl, or maybe it was the fact that life was just good, but Seth Clearwater was deadly optimistic.

He was halfway to his truck when he heard his older sister's voice. "And where do you think you're going?"

"Out!" replied, no hint of sarcasm or resentment in his voice. "Today's a good day Leah, I can feel it."

Leah rolled his eyes at him. "Well, it's going to be a good day at a council meeting, because that's where we're both going." Seth rolled his eyes. "Sam wants to talk about the growing number of bloodsuckers in the area, and we all need to be there."

Seth rolled his eyes and groaned. "But it's gonna be _boooriiing_."

"Well, then suck it up."

Boring it was, and suck it up he did. His brothers (and sister) sat around him, elders in company. They were waiting on one person, who had the audacity to be late to a meeting as important as this.

"Renesemee probably fell over and scraped her knee," Paul joked through the tension, trying to lighten the mood. No one responded, because it was an accepted fact that whenever Jacob was late, it was because of his imprint.

There was nothing to say about it, and even if there were, no one could say it. Because that was his imprint, and nothing anyone said could fight that fire.

For a brief moment, Seth thought about what it would be like, to have someone like that. To have someone to risk everything over. It wasn't the first time he had mulled the idea over in his mind. It was no secret to the pack that Seth actively longed for an imprint, for a companion, but it was also no secret that Seth was dead out of luck.

Then again, he knew from the start today was a good day.

And not for the first time, Seth tried to picture her. Maybe she'd have blue eyes. Seth always thought blue eyes were beautiful, entrancing. He imagined looking into her blue eyes for the first time and feeling everything else float away.

When Jacob arrived, Seth was so deep into day dreaming he didn't even notice. Brady had to nudge his arm to bring him back to reality. His eyes, like everyone else's turned to Jake, who let out a simple, "sorry" and took his seat.

That was enough for them, for now.

Billy Black's deep voice brought everyone's attention back to the meeting. "For a year now, we have known peace. Our enemies have disappeared and our treaty with the Cullens remains intact. However, there has been an outbreak. Dozens of Cold Ones have crossed into our territory."

"Seth caught one last night," Sam added, a tone of authority in his voice, "near River Street. He was hunting a girl on the street."

This is where Jacob's relationships came into handy: vampires. His relationships with the Cullen's helped with intel. "It's no one Carlisle knows," Jacob confirmed. "The Cullen's believe it might be a large clan of nomads passing through, larger than they've ever seen."

"Like an army," Jared snipped.

Sam took control of the conversation once more. "Until we have more information, I'm increasing patrols. We have to keep our people safe. Track the scent and make sure their eliminated."

The conversation continued on, but Seth couldn't pay attention. His mind was gone, somewhere else, lost on the coast. His brown eyes were focused on the ground in front of him but his mind replayed the events of last night.

He remembered catching the scent. It was clear and disgusting, and he followed all the way towards his house. He caught another scent in the mix, lovely but simple, like fruity shampoo. For a second, Seth could understand why the vampire might have been attracted to the girl.

 _That's sick, Seth,_ Embry's thought played through his mind. Yeah, it was kinda sick.

He was waiting for orders. Following the vampire with careful steps. He was so caught up in the hunt he didn't even notice Seth, the giant sandy wolf, snarling in the trees. But when the wind blew, and her lovely scent drifted in the wind, and she noticed him behind her, Seth had to act. Lunging at the killer, swiftly and silently.

The girl had never ever noticed. She wasn't supposed to, but in a way, Seth wanted her too.

"Hey, Seth."

The boy snapped out of his day dream to see Jacob waving his hand in his face. "C'mon, meeting's over. I'll drive you home."

Confused, Seth looked around for Leah, who had driven him here. "She's on patrol. Doing a perimeter. C'mon."

Seth liked Jacob's car. It was old and gross and constantly broke down. Countless times, the Cullen's offered him a new truck, but he turned it down. For his old piece of crap car that Jake rebuilt himself. He liked that Jake left the car dirty but kept the car seat for his imprint spotless.

Seth just brushed the trash to the side. "How's it been Jake?"

The older wolf gave him a glance as the truck struggled to start. "It's troubling times, buddy. More kids are gonna start turning soon. There are vampires everywhere."

"What do the Cullen's say?"

There was a part of Seth that knew Jake hated being the messenger between the two worlds, he couldn't help but let his curiosity take over. "It's not a newborn army. They're older, mature. There's no explanation."

Jacob closed his mouth, and didn't open it again. For some reason, he was holding pack. Putting something off. And Seth didn't want to push it.

But there was something on Seth's mind. It was the one thing that was Seth's mind at any given time. "Can I ask you a question?"

"No, I don't think you should try to find a companion before you imprint."

"But what if I never find her?"

"And what if you date a girl and then you met your imprint? Do you want to have another situation like Sam and-"

"Stop the car!"

Jacob slammed on the breaks and looked around. They were by the beach, near the cliffs. "What-" he begun, but stopped when he realized Seth had already bailed.

"Oh well."

Seth was in his way towards the cliff, full speed. He spotted a figure, dangling off the edge. His instincts kicked in, and he had to protect the civilians.

He heard Jake drive off, but by that time, he was already where he needed to be. "Hello?" Seth called.

There was a brief silence. "Hey what's up?"

For a moment, Seth was stumped. "Um, nothing much? Where are you?"

"If you're up here I assume it's because you saw exactly where I am."

Seth walked towards the edge. She sounded to relaxed to be in a compromising situation. "What are you doing?"

"Just hanging."

Completely baffled, Seth looked down over the edge. All he saw was a top of head. Chocolate brown hair. Somehow, this small girl had managed to find a small ledge off the edge of a cliff to sit on. "Um, hi."

The girl looked up at him, and for a moment, Seth thought he fell over the cliff.

In her eyes, he saw the universe. He saw his future, he saw all that was beautiful in the world. For a moment, he was floating, but he was slammed back down to reality. Back to her, because she was his new reality. His heart tugged, straight towards her. He couldn't look away. He was transfixed, under her spell. This was his imprint.

 _Well fuck._

 **/why would u have him imprint second chapter huuuuh/ bc it happens at first sight what are they never supposed to meet lmao thanks fam**


	3. three (alex)

I am a firm believer that I have never done anything wrong.

I had decided I've had enough with being locked in my house, so I left with the lame excuse to my father that I was just exploring. He didn't care; I think he was just happy to see me explore my freedom. I took his Jeep, though. I don't think he was too happy about that. There was only one destination I had in mind: the bookshop. I had seen it on the way to our new home, and it was exactly what I envisioned mine to be like. Well, from the outside at least. Exposed brick, warm, rustic colors, a wooden sign, hanging. It looked inviting.

Finding my way downtown took some time, but once I was there, the store was easy enough to find. I remembered it well, but the owner had added some flowers since the last time I saw it. It worked. I parked the car down the street, in the closest available spot. After locking the car three times and checking my wallet for cash about eight times, walking away felt safe. It was amazing how much cooler it was outside like the sun had never touched this part of the Earth. I couldn't overstate how much I loved it.

I heard the large rumble of a truck pull up beside me. "Hey, cutie!"

I turned my head to see a group of shirtless men, hanging out in the back of a pickup truck that had stopped at a red light. One of them was hanging out the back, staring right at me. "I'm Brady. Can I get your name, beautiful?"

I narrowed my eyes. "No, ugly."

There was a whooping laughter from the rest of the boys after that, but I didn't bother to look and see what his reaction was. I kept my head forward and kept walking, letting their laughing bring a small smile to my face. It was nice to know my intolerance for catcalling was amusing to his friends. I hope he learned a lesson. Probably not, but, you know, whatever.

The store was as rustic and beautiful inside as it was outside. It was dimly lit, with incense burning. It had a magical aura around it, the type I was looking for. I made my way straight for the women behind the counter. "Excuse me?" I asked, using my 'customer service voice.'

She looked up at me, with a twinkle in her brown eye. "How can I help you, dear?" she asked, her voice sounded weary. The woman was older, with wrinkles on her cheeks but a dimple under her eye.

"Yes, hi. I was wondering if you had any books on local legends, or myths maybe?" She stared back at me blankly, curious, but said nothing. 'It's kind of a hobby of mine. I like to research different myths and mythologies. It, uh, helps the time pass. I just moved here and I heard there were some interesting myths around this area.

It was a while before she spoke again. "Are you Native, dear?" she asked, respectfully but with a tone, I knew demanded an answer.

I was used to this question or variations of it. The white people that lived in California couldn't tell the difference between anyone that wasn't white or black. "No, actually, I'm, uh Lebanese. Both my mother and Baba immigrated in like, the eighties or something."

This woman smiled at me like she knew more about myself than I did. "You don't know your mother." It wasn't a question. "I'll give you the books."

I walked out of the store deeply unsettled. It was easy to tell, I guess for someone older, that I didn't have a mom. I used the formal "mother" and affectionate "Baba" in the same sentence, but I was still disturbed. I wasn't irked by the fact my mother was paid to carry me in her stomach so my dads could have a daughter. I wasn't bothered by the fact I didn't know her, or that I had two dads, but by the fact that this woman read me so easily.

"You looked rattled," my dad said to me when I walked through the door, dropping my bag of books in the front hall. He was cooking, again. "And you're already making a mess. At least it'll be homey."

"Do I look like I have gay dads?" I demanded, leaving my father to look at me with wide eyes. "Or at least, do I look like I never had a mother?"

My dad rolled his eyes at me. "No, but you do look like someone who needs to get some energy out. Being locked up in this house has made you crazy."

"Dad, I'm serious."

"Me too." He dipped his fingers into a bowl of flour and flicked at me. I flinched, but nothing landing on my face. "You told me you were going out all day. There's a cool cliff that's fun to hike down the road. Maybe you should go there before Baba gets home."

He smiled at me. I stared back. I didn't want to challenge him on that. "Yeah, I am gonna go do that. I'll be back when it's too dark to read."

"Don't rush!"

I have never done anything wrong. I'm always right.

So, when I ended up dangling my feet over the edge of a cliff, looking about a hundred feet down, I knew it was for a reason.

It seemed like a good idea a time. I hiked all the way through a forest type hell, being attacked by mutant bugs and getting hit in the face with a branch. I tripped three times and most likely bruised multiple times, so fuck this cliff better have been worth it.

And it wasn't.

Sure, the view was nice, but the view was nice from the beach, or a park, or my house, with windows. I looked around, and there was nothing but a bunch of trees and a huge drop to the ocean. I looked over the edge, and it looked as if there was a nook just big enough to rest on. Fuck, I must have been bored.

Throwing my bag to the side, I took a deep breath, and slowly lowered one foot onto the edge. "What kind of fucking idiot am I?" I whispered to myself.

Here's the logic: I really wanted to do it.

I put a good amount of weight on my foot before deciding it was steady, so while I was holding onto the edge, I rested my other foot down and lowered my butt to cold rock.

Wow. Cool. The same view, in a slightly more precarious position. _What kind of fucking idiot._

I stayed there for a minute, maybe two, before I subsequently decided this was one of the stupidest things I've ever done. Ironically, the second stupidest thing I've ever done was the night before.

Is there just something about moving to this area that makes you a fucking idiot?

I tried to move, really, I did. But whenever I raised myself the slightest bit, I was convinced I would fall and die. I stayed put there, looking around. It wasn't even worth it. What's so special about the ocean? It's wet and cold and fish pee in it. Fuck the ocean.

 _Maybe I'll jump out of boredom._

I wasn't even smart enough to bring my books or my phone with me. This is what the settlers did for fun.

"Hello?"

Was that a dude?

I was quite for a second, not sure how exactly to respond. "Hey what's up?" I winced at my word choice because honestly, what the fuck?

The dude was quite too. Maybe he wasn't real. "Um, nothing much? Where are you?" Nope, he was real.

"If you're up here I assume it's because you saw exactly where I am."

"What are you doing?"

"Just hanging."

"Um, hi."

The voice was from above me. I looked up, and there he was and _what the fuck._

There has never been a moment in my life when I felt anything towards any non-relative but tolerance, appreciation, or blatant hatred. But when I looked up at this kid's eyes, something hit home. I looked at possibly the most beautiful person I've ever seen and felt like I finally found my home. His deep brown eyes were warm, inviting, and all I saw. I didn't want to see anything else ever again.

I wonder if he felt it too.

"Hi," I said, in a voice that sounded much more pathetically vulnerable than the one I put on earlier.

"I love you."

Well, fuck. I guess he felt it too.

"Okay, that's nice. Wanna help me out?"

For a brief second, I was convinced the kid was gonna cry. "I mean-I, uh, I obviously didn't mean that. I just meant that uh, yeah. I can, um, help you up. You can just give me your hand. If you want to, I mean."

Without hesitation, I handed this kid my hand. Fuck he was weird, but I had no reason not to trust him. "Yeah, do you need me to-"

Before I could finish my sentence, he had grabbed my hand firmly and launched me up to the same level as him. I stumbled, but I placed my hands on his chest for balance. "Or we could do that's...fuck you're strong dude. And, um, really hot." I kept my distance but also my hand on his shoulder. "Like, really hot. Burning. Are you sick?"

"I'll live," he chirped, looking down at me with an awkward yet endearing smile. He was tall, almost as tall as he was hot. And attractive. Physically, he was superior. And intimidating. And hot. Fuck, he was hot. I promptly took my hand away. "What were you doing down there?" he asked, seeming a little too concerned.

"Oh, I, um, dropped some money down there and got stuck." I met his eyes, his beautiful chocolate eyes. "Sixteen hundred dollars."

 _Alex what the fuck is wrong with you._

"You dropped sixteen hundred dollars off a cliff while hiking," he repeated in monotone. It sounded stupider when he said it.

I sighed. "No. I just didn't wanna sound like a pussy. I hiked all the way up here and got scratched up by trees and eaten by bugs for a lame cliff. I thought going down there would make it cooler. It….didn't."

For the first time, he seemed to notice how my face was cut up with miny scratches. "Oh no. You know, actually, I live nearby. Do you want me to get some first aid? I could take care of you."

At those words, and at the thought of him touching my face and he cleaned out cuts, made me feel some kind of way I had no business feeling. "Um, no that's okay. I'll live. I've gotta get going home." He seemed beyond disappointed. He seemed hurt. "But uh, I actually just moved in down the road. So I'm sure I'll see you around? I'm Alex."

"Alex," he said almost wistfully. "Alex. That's a beautiful name. I'm Seth."

"Well, Seth, I hope I get to see you again."

"Oh you will, I promise."

* * *

 **these first few chapters are uhhh not good and im rushing thru them to get to the good good bc idc lov u**


	4. four (seth)

_Seth not to be overdramatic but that was probably one of the worst interactions I've ever seen between two sentient beings._

Leave it to Jared to ruin his mood. Or at least, _try_ to. Because Seth was elated. That beautiful girl with the beautiful brown eyes and perfect smile was _his_ imprint. And he couldn't be happier about it.

 _Oh my god, shut up Seth,_ Brady thought bitterly. _Like, we get it, you think your imprint's hot._

Seth was trying to ignore the thoughts of his brothers passing through his head. The only thing he wanted to think of was Alex. He kept replaying that interaction in his head. Yes, it was awkward, but Seth was happy with every minute she was paying attention to him. He thought about the smile and the wrinkle in her nose. She wasn't hot. That wasn't enough. She was beautiful. Stunning. Perfect.

 _I think I'm gonna throw up._

 _Aw, Seth, don't worry about Brady,_ Jared said with a tone of amusement. _He's just mad because he tried to get in your imprint's pants and she shut him down._

That made Seth stop dead in his tracks. He was _trying_ to ignore them, but this sentence made his blood boil. _Brady did **what?**_

Suddenly, the image was on display for Seth. He saw his brothers driving down Main Street, and then he saw her. It was earlier in the day, and she wore a frown. _Hey, cutie._ Seth let out a growl when he realized that was Brady talking to Alex, _his_ Alex. _Can I get your name, beautiful?_

The worst part of all of it was the look on Alex's face. She was annoyed, obviously, but she had a look of discomfort and a small bit of fear. Brady made his imprint feel fear. The anger Seth felt rivaled any sort of anger he's ever felt. _Brady._

 _Oh, calm down Seth. It's not like I knew she was your imprint. And, as a matter of fact, you didn't even know she was your imprint! How are you gonna blame me for that? If some other dude hit it before she moved here would you kill him?_

Another low growl ripped through Seth's body and he began running once more. The thought of someone else touching her like that made him absolutely sick, and he was infuriated with Brady for even mentioning it to him. for making him imagine it. _Shut up, Brady._

 _Yeah shut up Brady,_ Jared agreed. _His emotions are on high right now. Don't piss him off more._

 _You brought it up!_

Seth had officially decided to focus all of his energy on this patrol and pretending Brady didn't exist. Or Jared, the antagonizer. He just wanted to clear the area and go home. No, what he really wanted to do was see Alex. He wanted to hear her voice again. He wanted to hear her say his name again. Her lips tugged into a smile when she said it, and his heart beat quicker. He had suddenly liked his own name significantly more. It was ridiculous to him that he could have given so much of himself to someone he has only briefly met, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted this. He wanted _her,_ in any way she would take him.

 _Alright, this is ridiculous. I'm out,_ Brady griped. _If I have to listen to this for one more second I'm going to jump off a cliff. It would be **significantly** less painful. Besides, we've been out here for like three hours and haven't caught one scent._

The silence that came after was confirmation that Brady had phased back, and Seth was grateful he didn't have to listen to his thoughts anymore. He hadn't even known Alex for more than a day, and she had already caused him to feel emotions more intensely than he ever thought possible. The theory of imprinting had been something he read thought about and witnessed on a daily basis, and he never thought twice about it being applied to him, and some mystery girl. But now that the mystery girl had a name and face and a heartbeat he had to protect, he wasn't sure how to handle it.

 _You know,_ Jared thought, interrupting Seth's train of thought, _before today, I always wondered how you managed to shift. You're always so happy and everything, to the point where it's kind of annoying, I couldn't picture you mad enough to phase. But now, I can get it. You're acting more temperamental than Paul._

 _I don't know what to do. There's a lot going through my mind right now, but I don't know when I'll ever see her again, or if she wants to see me. It's unnerving. Plus, I don't know how I'm gonna tell her about, well, everything._

 _Don't worry about that right now, Seth. Just worry about finishing running this perimeter. Whatever you're feeling, she's feeling too. Even if she runs away screaming, she'll come back. It's in her blood as much as it's in yours. In the meantime, try to hold back on the 'I love you's'._

* * *

Seth was lying in bed, trying to think about anything but Alex, because at this point he convinced himself it was unhealthy to let her consume his thoughts this much. However, every time he tried, he thoughts just led right back to her. He wondered what she was doing, what she was thinking, and most of all, he thought of what Alex thought of him. He remembered what she said: she lived nearby, right down the road. She was probably close to him right now. Was she doing what he was doing, lying in bed and thinking of him? He was overcome with curiosity. For all he knew, she could have been in the next house over.

It had been a few days since he met his imprint, and he had thought of little else but her. Sleeping and eating became difficult. _If I had only gotten her number,_ but now he was constantly tortured by the fact he might never see her again. It was unlikely, but it was a thought that passed through his mind too many times. He just wanted to be in her company again. But he was left on a cliff hanger. His emotions and thoughts were unresolved, and they would remain unsolved until he saw her again, or until she knew about who he truly was. Either way, he was restless.

Sometimes he would just leave the house and walk around, just hoping he would see her. But she was nowhere to be found. It was like she wasn't even _real._ She was there in his life for what seemed like a second, and that was all she needed to steal his heart for good, but that fleeting interaction with her wasn't enough.

Everyone around him was worried as well. Jacob and Leah, especially. Despite their comforting words, _you'll find her Seth, don't worry,_ he knew they couldn't be certain. Jake had him running more patrols to keep his mind occupied.

In the four or five days since Seth met Alex, they had encountered three different vampires. None of them recognizable, and none of them friendly. They were relatively easy to take down, weak, but it was the rising number of them that spiked concern in the tribe. They feared they would be outnumbered, even if they recruited support from the Cullen's. The idea seemed unlikely, anyways. The clan maintained positive relations with various clans and preferred not to intervene unless it posed a personal threat to them. Though he found it frustrating, Seth understood. The Cullen Clan had finally found their happiness, and they would do anything to stay away from the danger that would threaten it. If Seth had finally achieved that bliss, he would do anything he could to protect it.

There was a knock on his bedroom door, and he looked up to see his sister. Leah was standing there with crossed arms and a smirk on her face. "If you're here to tell me I need to stop thinking about her you should just give up because believe me, I've tried."

Leah laughed, with a knowing look in her eyes. "No, I'm just here to tell you she's walking up our driveway."

This information caused Seth to shoot out of bed. "She's _what?"_

"Yeah, and she has brownies. So I'd put a shirt on before she gets to the door. I'm gonna go for a patrol. I really don't wanna be around for this." With a slight chuckle and a shake of her head, Leah walked away, leaving Seth with his own racing heart.

Quickly as he could, he smell-checked a plain black shirt and threw it on before racing out of his room to the front door of his house. With near excessive force, he flung the front door open to reveal Alex, with a hand raised, ready to knock and a pan in the other. "It's you!" Seth all but yelled, a sizeable grin on his face. It was safe to say this was the biggest relief he's ever felt.

The look in Alex's eyes was worth the wait, and Seth felt himself connect with her all over again. She looked _happy_ to see him. "Seth! Hi! I didn't know you live here. I lived like, two house down." She laughed, and Seth melted at the airy sound. "Anyways, I brought brownies."

For a moment, Seth was speechless but regained his thoughts just quickly enough. "That's so nice! Here, let me grab them. Come on in," he invited, grabbing the still warm pan from her hands.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

"Absolutely," Seth rapidly assured. "It's no problem at all. It would be an honor to invite you in."

Alex laughed again. Damn, Seth could listen to that sound all day. "Alright, if you insist."

Seth couldn't get his thoughts straight. He went from constantly pining over her to having Alex sitting in his living room. It was like having a million pounds thrown off his shoulder. She sat on his couch, looking around on the photos on the wall. Respectfully, Seth took a seat in the arm chair near her. "So, Alex, you said you just moved here. Where from?"

"San Deigo. My dads moved around a lot before they had me but then settled down when I was brought into the world. But then a couple months ago my Baba got a job offer he couldn't turn down."

Seth was caught up on every word. "Dads?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah, I have two dads. They're gay," Alex said a little skeptically, eyeing Seth carefully. He wore shock on his face, clearly. "What, have you never heard of gay people?"

"What? No, no, no," Seth quickly tried to backtrack. "I don't have a problem with that or anything I just mean like, I didn't know. I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you."

Alex looked back at him with thoughtful eyes before shaking her head. "Sorry, I'm used to people reacting weird."

"Don't apologize. Anyways, do you like it here?" For some reason, Seth felt like he was interviewing her, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to hear more about her.

Alex smiled at him, looking into his eyes. Seth had never felt so warm. "Yeah, I love it here. It's so much better than California. I love how it's so, I don't know, _wild_ here. I've always lived in an urban area, so it's nice to be here. I like the weather too."

"Would you believe me if I told you I've never been to a city?" Seth asked, unable to smile despite the blush that rushed to his cheeks.

"You're not missing out on anything. It's too crowded, and everyone you pass is a stranger. I like the small town vibe here. I haven't met very many people. Actually, I've only met you, but I like the idea of knowing the people in town."

The more she talked, the more Seth could see how she was his imprint. "Well, I know a lot of people, if you're interested in meeting new people. We have this kind of, weekly bonfires. We talk about like, local legends and things like that."

"Not only does that sound fun, but I kind of have a thing about local legends. I'm definitely in. Also, my dads have been pressuring me to get out of the house more, so that would be great."

Seth had so many questions, but he didn't want to overwhelm her. "What do you mean you have a thing about local legends?"

It was Alex's turn to blush. "It's kind of embarrassing but um, I like mythology and things like that. I read about ancient religion and local myths and different things like that. I actually just bought some books about Quileute legends, but I haven't read them yet."

Seth's eyes brightened up. "Well, why read a book when you can hear from real live Quileute?"

Alex chuckled. "Well, I'm definitely in. I've heard there's some pretty interesting folklore around this tribe." _Folklore,_ Seth thought with a laugh. Maybe if she knew the legends before he told her the truth, her reaction would be less drastic. "Hey, I have a question."

"I have an answer," Seth replied.

"Is this a safe area?" she asked, and as soon as the sentence left her mouth Seth tensed. Was she in danger? "I mean, I went for a walk one morning, and I looked at me and there was this dude standing there, but then when I looked back, he was gone."

Immediately, he knew exactly what she was talking about. _She_ was the girl he saved from the leech. A slow anger started to build up, but he fought it down, not wanting to put Alex in any danger. "There's not a lot of danger around here," Seth said, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Just, don't go outside in the dark. There are...animals," he managed.

The tone is Seth's voice told Alex she should listen, but it also sent a chill down her spine. "Okay," she said, meeting Seth's eyes.

Her eyes were just as dark as his, and they made his anger melt away. It was amazing how quickly she could do that. They held eye contact for a while, and neither one could break away until a soft buzzing interrupted. "Sorry," Alex said, looking at her phone and breaking away from Seth's gaze, "it's my Baba. He wants me to come home for dinner."

Disappointment rushed through Seth's chest at the idea of her leaving, and he hated the idea that he might have to go that long without seeing her again. She stood. "Hey, um, can I give you my number? You did promise we'd be friends, and friends have each other's numbers."

Seth quickly stood. "Of course. As long as it means I get to see you again."

* * *

It didn't take long after Alex left for the anger to rip through Seth, and this time there was nothing to calm him down. He was just lucky he made it outside in time.

He had _just_ met his imprint, his reason for existence, and she was already been threatened and targeted by _leeches._

Seth was not one to hold grudges against vampires. He was good friends with the Cullens, and he didn't even think of them as monsters or vampires, he thought of them as people. But anyone who _dared_ to threaten his Alex was nothing to him but a monster.

Once in his wolf form, he booked it, running towards he didn't even know what. He cursed himself for not figuring it out earlier. How could he not recognize her scent? It was the same that nignt as it was just now. Seth was too distracted to put two and two together. For all he knew, his girl could be being _tracked._

He let out a long, slightly anguished howl, calling for his pack. This was a problem they needed to solve _immediately,_ if it put his Alex in danger. The thoughts of his pack mates flooded his mind, and his theirs, grasping a full concept of the situation.

They all gathered in a clearing, while, Seth kept replaying that night in his head. _We have to protect our own,_ the authoritive voice of Jacob rang through the pack. _An attack on an imprint is an attack on the entire pack._

 _How do we know it wasn't a coincidence?_ Embry interjected, trying to bring logic to the situation. _This was before Seth even imprinted; there was no scent on her._

 _What does it matter?_ Seth snarled, feeling the rage build up. _She was targeted. We now know they want her! We have to protect her!_

 _And we will, Seth! We will!_ Jake turned to Embry. _Coincidence or not, she has become a target. Add her house to rounds. Make sure no one gets near her._ Jacob looked into Seth's eyes. _We're going to protect her Seth, don't worry. Go take a lap._

He didn't need to be told twice. Seth turned on his heels and ran as fast as he could back towards the direction of his own home, but that was not his destination. He was running back to where Alex was.

His mind was playing "what if" and he did _not_ like the options. Seth pictured the leech putting his hands on Alex, sinking his teeth into her neck. He would either suck the life out of her until she was _gone,_ or he would leave her in angonizing pain until she became like him. Each one of those options made his heart feel like a concrete weight. He was grateful he caught the scent. He was grateful his superior hearing allowed him to hear every move he made.

Because even though Alex had been in his life for a few days, he couldn't imagine it without her.

It took minutes to reach her house but it felt like hours. He knew it was where she lived, he caught her scent far away enough. The area was clear, no sickenly disgusting sweet smell. Still, he couldn't calm himself. He dug his claws in the soil and lowered his body.

Alex's house was small, but quaint. It was a single story red house. The backyard was large, with a garden full of freshly planted flowers. He listened carefully, listening for some kind of sign she was okay. He heard the roaring laughter of a man, the sound of a baseball game, and the stove sizzling. The surrounding noises of various animals running through the woods and water running through the river were easy to tune out.

He felt his body calm when he heard her voice, calling for her dad, but he stayed put. He couldn't leave her now, knowing that she might be a target. This was his life now, living as Alex's protector, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

 **hey y'all some reviews would be nice & encouraging lol does anyone even like this lol **


	5. five (alex)

**this would have been out sooner but i switched up some chapters whoops lol thanks fr reviewing its my motivation il ov my fans pls keep reviewing**

* * *

There was some sort of weird bond I felt between Seth and myself that I found completely inexplicable and highly frightening. The fact of the matter is, I was undeniably attracted to the kid, but it seemed like more than that. In the days we were apart, I felt like I was missing a part of me, which is completely ridiculous because my only previous interaction with him lasted about two minutes and was deeply unsettling and awkward, and I claimed to have sixteen hundred dollars. Still, as soon as I left him I wanted to turn around and spend all of my time with him. After that, I would go outside, drive around town, and go on stupid hikes just to look for him. But not once did I see the dark eyed boy. That single fact alone was beyond frustrating. It was something I had dedicated time and effort to, and failing was a huge blow to my confidence. And of course, it would only make sense that I would see him only when I stopped looking for him, and this time I was sure to give him my number.

To say I was disappointed he didn't immediately text me would be an understatement. Around two weeks into living here, and Seth was the only friend I made, and I was desperate for attention, and Seth's in particular. As soon as I arrived back home, I would check my phone every two minutes just to see if there was some sort of interaction. A text, a call, or anything. The waiting lasted into the night, and I became annoyed. Not at him, but at myself, for being hurt that I didn't immediately get a text from a boy I had met twice. I fell asleep that night, defeated. I stayed in all day. Partially, because I wanted to be available in case Seth actually did text me (which was, again, ridiculous, because I had no reason to be so _obsessed),_ but also because Seth's comments about "... _animals"_ severely freaked me out. I was acutely aware that there might be like, bears or something, but Seth threw out the word so bitterly like the bear did him dirty.

The next morning, I woke up to _several_ new messages from an unknown number and a large grin on my face. The boy had texted me at around two in the morning about ten times. I stared at my phone for a while, trying to decide if it was acceptable to immediately open and respond to them. But back in California, my friends my friends would have told me I was making myself too available. With an army of butterflies in my stomach, I put my phone down and stretched my legs. I would text him after therapy.

There is an endless amount of reasons we left San Diego, and though Baba denies it, I believe one of those reasons is because I had gone through every therapist in the city and surrounding area, and none of them were willing to treat me. It wasn't because I was "too insane," because compared to the people I've seen walk in and out of those doors, I was the poster child for American youth. It was because I refused to be treated, and made my visits with these doctors into a game.

It drove my fathers crazy, and whenever I walked out of the office with a grin on my face they knew it was time to hit the yellow pages again. Most doctors just tried to throw me on medication and move on to someone else, but I refused. _Adamantly_. I had told Baba that if in the entire city of San Diego, there wasn't one therapist for me, then there wouldn't be on in La Push, or Forks, or any of these surrounding areas. And, thus far, I've been correct. I have been to three different offices, and each one had said to me, "I don't think treatment here is the best option for you," which roughly translates over to, "if I ever see you again, I will need therapy."

 _This one will be different,_ Baba told me just before I left. _And please just give her a chance. We just want to help you._

There was a tone of pleading in his voice that made me feel just bad enough for him that I decided provided my parents some sort of comfort was better than tormenting a therapist for an hour. So I gave a weak promise and was on my way.

I drove through what seemed like thousands of miles of trees to get to this office, and it was weirdly concealed in the middle of nowhere. It was a sleek, modern looking building that looked out of place in the middle of the Washington wilderness. There was only one other car in the lot, and it looked too expensive to belong to someone who did private practice out of a glass box in the middle of the woods. Any semblance of sympathy for my fathers was overwhelmed by my unspeakable need to make fun of the high-maintenance upper class.

I walked across the parking lot and through the _glass_ doors of the _glass_ building. My senses were immediately overwhelmed by the smell of cinnamon, spices, and something else, much more subtle, that smelled dangerously familiar. Like most things, I chose to ignore it and focus on the fact that there was _no desk receptionist._ In fact, it was so unusually quiet that I didn't think there was any one else in the building. There were a few chairs, a door leading towards the back of the building, and a small fountain in the center of the room. It was, by far, the _worst_ office building I had ever been in. Part of me was worried that this was an elaborate setup and I was about to be murdered. I'd seen it on Criminal Minds before.

Refusing to take a seat, I stood in the middle of the room, every part of my body feeling awkward and out of place. I heard the creaking of a door and whipped my head around to see what might have been the most unnaturally beautiful thirty something-year-old woman I've ever seen in my life. Her black hair fell in perfect waves around her pale, albeit flawless face. Her hazel eyes were warm but not as warm as the smile she wore. And, fuck, speaking of _wearing,_ this woman had on heels that made my diminutive frame feel even more _diminutive._ And her long pencil skirt and fancy purple blouse made me and my ripped skinny jeans and army jacket feel like I was showing up underdressed for a meeting with some sort of CEO.

This woman was ridiculously perfect, and it made me highly uncomfortable.

"Hi," she said with a bell like voice, "you must be Alexandra. How nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Esmee Cullen."

"Um, hey," is what I managed. I cursed myself and my stupid raspy, low voice. How was I supposed to make fun of this woman when she was the embodiment of perfection?

Her smile grew wider, this time to include teeth. "Why don't you follow me back to my office? I'm sure we have a lot to go over."

Wordlessly, I followed her back behind the door, letting it close behind me. Behind _it_ was a hall full of different rooms, each door opened to reveal nicely decorated offices, all, however, empty. Everything about this place was _strange._

Her office was the one at the end of the hall, and most likely the largest. It was decorated with various paintings and photographs, but no diplomas or anything of the sort. And, of course, there was a Zen garden. Dr. Cullen sat down behind a large wooden desk and motioned for me to sit across from her in what looked like an oversized bean bag. I did, and it was, I'm happy to report, surprisingly firm. "So, Alexandra-"

"Alex," I corrected.

"Alex, my apologies," she said with a soft smile. "So, Alex, your father sent me a lot of emails describing your situation and and explaining why you need therapy."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, great, so you heard my sob story."

"I haven't read them yet," she replied coolly, looking to me. "I think it's better to try and get to know you before I hear about all the things your father believes you need to be here for."

"Oh." _This_ was a far different approach than I had ever experienced.

"So," she gestured at me and leaned back in her chair. "Tell me about yourself."

I sighed. "Well, if you had read the email from my father, you'd know that I'm insane. A total nutcase, really. Anything you can think of, I got it. Really not even worth your time. That's what all the others say. The therapists, I mean. Well, at least before I lose it and drive them out of practice. I'd hate to see that happen to you. So, uh, why don't you give me about, let's say 50 CC's of Xanax and I'll just get right on out of your way."

She pursed her lips. "Hmm, of course. Well, I'd love to give you that, what was it, 50 CCs of Xanax?" I nodded, smiling."Right, well, unfortunately, we're going to have to wait a little bit for that. Maybe a few sessions in, when we start to talk about why you're deflecting, I'll give you that prescription."

Inside, I blanched, but on the outside, I kept on a stupid smile. "Doc, that's such a great plan, really, but here's the thing: I'm actually going off to war and y'know, kinda need now. I'm out here defending this country. The _least_ you can do is gimme some Xan."

She laughed. "You certainly don't look like the type of person who would like Xanax, Alex."

I shrugged. At least despite my ragged appearance (well, ragged compared to _her_ at least), I didn't look like a drug addict. "I know it's street value. It's how I afford all these fancy clothes." I gave her a small wink.

"Well, Alex you certainly are a treat. What time will work for you weekly? I generally close up shop around six, so anytime before that would work."

I sighed. "Great. I'll see you every Wednesday at three."

* * *

 _Hi! It's Seth! (2:04 A.M)_

 _Is it weird that I waited to text you? I didn't want to seem desperate. (2:04 A.M)_

 _I tried to wait longer but I couldn't hold off anymore. (2:06 A.M)_

 _I guess I don't have good willpower. (2:07 A.M)_

 _And now I have to wait until you wake up until you respond :( (2:07 A.M)_

 _I should probably stop texting you. (2:08 A.M)_

 _This is probably really weird. (2:08 A.M)_

 _OH, but one more thing. (2:10 A.M)_

 _Tomorrow, or today I guess, you could come by my house if you want. You could meet some new people. (2:10 A.M)_

 _Let me know. (2:11 A.M)_

* * *

I had texted Seth as soon as I left the office with a quick _is it ok that i'm on my way now?_ and within seconds he replied with a _Yes!_

I drove right past my own house and pulled into Seth's driveway. The fact that we lived so close made me feel, warm? It was strange how much I liked being near him. I felt so much safer whenever I felt his presence and disclaimer! It was weird. I spent so much of my time trying to harden myself to _prevent_ something like this from happening. I guess it just didn't work.

I knocked on his front door and he answered within a microsecond. And there Seth stood, in all of his Seth-like glory: messy hair, warm dark eyes, and a stunning wide smile. He was so _attractive,_ in a way that I wasn't used to. My usual type of guys was skateboards and skinny limbs and punk concerts. Seth was none of those things; if I had seen someone wearing jorts and a brown t-shirt three weeks ago I would have teased them endlessly. But somehow, it worked. Seth was _better._ "Hi!" he exclaimed, his voice laced with his usual enthusiasm. "Wanna go for a ride?"

* * *

A ride with Seth, apparently, meant taking his truck down the wildest road I had ever seen. Every microsecond, the truck lurched and bounced, throwing me along with it. It was not exactly my cup of tea, but my stomach tolerated it and Seth laughed and whooped every time we hit something big enough to lift him off the seat, so I determined it worth it. "I thought we were meeting people?" I asked, laughing a little after one of Seth's cheers.

He kept his eyes on the road. "Oh, we are. You said you wanted to meet more people, so I figured I could introduce you to some of my friends. They like to go this secret beach, I guess." He looked over at me for a second. "Avoiding the tourists," he said slyly.

My eyes widened slightly. "The tourists? You get a lot of those here in La Push?"

"Of course! Our sunny beaches and warm water just keep 'em coming!"

If there were two words to describe this beach, "sunny" and "warm" would not be any of them. It was cold to start with, but the ocean breeze dropped the temperature down a few extra degrees, and I was grateful I still had on a jacket. Before I could hop out of the passenger seat, Seth made his way over to me and opened the door. "Ma'dam," he said with a horrifically poor French accent.

Together we walked towards the beach. Seth was at my side but kept a safe distance. There were a bunch of people running around with a soccer ball, most of them built like Seth. One girl was sitting on a blanket, who looked to be extremely annoyed as the boys ran past her. My eyes kept scattering between the boys. I looked back up to Seth. "Do you all have the same dad or something?"

He let out an uneasy laugh, but other that ignored my comment. "Hey!" he called to his friends. "Come meet Alex!"

My eyes were trained on the girl on the blanket, who made no movement to come see me. The boys, on the other hand, shared a knowing look and a few chuckles before making their way over to me. "Alex, this is Embry, Brady, and Quil"

 _Brady. "_ Oh hey! Ugly! How's it been?" I questioned the boy who had cat-called me just a few days earlier, and his face flushed red while his friends laughed.

"Yeah, it's real nice to meet you," he grumbled, turning the ball in his hands. "She's a real sweetheart, Seth."

I felt Seth tense beside me. "Ignore Brady," Embry said with a smile on his face. "He's got a temper and he's not good at handling rejection."

"Which is surprising, considering how often it happens," the other friend, Quil added, nudging the boy to his left. "It is nice to meet you, considering how much Seth talks about you."

I blushed and looked up at Seth, who had a red tint to his cheeks and a tense jaw like he was torn between being angry and bashful. "We were starting to think you weren't real. But then when he got your number-"

"Alright, that's enough!" Seth interrupted, knocking the ball out of Brady's hands, and throwing it behind their heads. "Go fetch."

The three of them, laughing, chased after the ball. "Your friends seem cool. Except for Brady. He sucks. No offense."

Seth shook his head. "No, he does suck. I mean, around girls he sucks. He doesn't know how to have a conversation with anyone of the opposite sex. We try to keep him away from the female population as much as we can."

"Who's she?" I asked, looking towards the girl in the blanket, who seemed not to have moved an inch since we arrived.

Seth sighed. "That's Leah, my sister." _Sister?_ I gave him a look of surprise. "I don't talk about her a lot because she's a bit of a challenge. She doesn't like a lot of people."

I watched the way the wind threw her short hair back, but she didn't flinch at all. "I'm gonna go talk to her. I like a challenge."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Seth asked, and I smiled at the tone of his voice like he was worried he needed to protect me from his sister.

"Nah, I'd rather watch you kick Brady's ass in that makeshift game of soccer." Seth grinned down at me when the words left my mouth before running in the opposite direction to join. I stared after him, briefly overwhelmed by how _cute_ he is, before turning and walking towards his sister. I was slightly curious as to what she did to deserve apprehension from even her own _brother._

I sat in the sand next to her blanket, not looking to overstep my boundaries. "Hey, I'm Alex," I introduced, though mimicking her energy and keeping my body faced towards the ocean, even though the wind stung my eyes.

She said nothing, just stared ahead of her at the blue horizon. I chuckled a little, shaking my head. This girl had a stone cold disposition, even I could tell. And honestly, I kind of admired it.

After a few minutes of silence, she spoke. "Shouldn't you be over there trying to impress my brother or something?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "At soccer? God no. I don't think tripping over at all and breaking your nose could be considered impressive. If I wanted to impress him I'd, I dunno, challenge him to like, a rap battle or something."

For the first time, Leah looked at me with squinted eyes and a frown. "You're weird," she settled on, before turning away from me once again.

"Lovely," I said, grinning. "Weird's a much better first impression than boring. Now tell me, what was it that made 'weird' my leading quality? Was it the rap battle idea?"

She scoffed. "I can definitely understand it," she mumbled under her breath, and it sounded like something I wasn't supposed to hear. "So why are you taking to me despite my clear disinterest?"

Humming, I tapped my fingers against my knee. "There are a few reasons. The main one being that I haven't had any female companionship in over a month, and talking to a girl, no matter how disinterested, is refreshing. Another is that I don't really like Brady."

I could have _sworn_ that brought a small smile on her face. "Well, that's one thing we have in common." I looked over at the boys kicking around the ball just in time for Seth to kick it up in the air, effectively landing on Brady's head. He looked back at me and threw me a wink.

* * *

 **weird place to end it but i lolv u :))**


	6. six (seth)

Seth never had a problem with the Cullen's. In fact, he had an unusual amount of respect for them, considering they were his natural enemies. But the very _second_ he caught the scent of them on his imprint, some sort of wolfish instinct kicked in, and the amount of respect _drastically_ lowered.

He brought Alex back to her house that night, promising her more of his time as she smiled brightly at him. They had spent the majority of the day together, but in the back of his mind, he wondered in what exact context she interacted with a Cullen. _Did you meet anyone knew,_ he had asked her, knowing the answer to _had_ to be yes, but she came back with a swift 'no,' which meant that either she was lying, or one of them was _following_ her. He didn't really like either option, and the fact that he couldn't explain them caused him even _more_ frustration.

Seth watched as Alex closed the front door behind her, and he turned and ran into the woods. The sun had set about an hour ago, and he was calm enough to strip in the woods before he phased. Being in his wolf form felt good like he had more freedom. And with that freedom, he chose to run, despite him not technically being on patrol. Tonight was just one of those nights he had too much restless energy. He wasn't necessarily _angry_ because despite what had happened, he still trusted the Cullen's. He had an uneasy feeling in his gut. Seth couldn't imagine _one_ good reason Alex and a Cullen would be together long enough for her to catch their scent. Briefly, he pictured running to the Cullen's house, storming through the door, and demanding answers.

 _That seems like a dumb idea you won't be doing,_ Jacob's words cut through Seth's inner monolog.

 _Is that an order?_ Seth mocked bitterly, hoping the answer would be no, but knowing it would be yes. If there was one thing Seth hated, it was having to follow alpha's orders at all times, in addition to ranking so low on the totem pole.

Jacob scoffed. _You don't need me to answer that, Seth. What you need to do is calm down. I've never seen you this erratic. It's unsettling._

 _Your...face is unsettling._

 _Nice, Seth. There's that maturity I expect from you. Look, if it makes you feel better, I can talk to Bella about it and see what the deal is. I **highly** doubt she was in any danger around any of them. And if I'm wrong, I'll let you beat me up. _

_Sounds good. Now leave me alone._

 _Whatever, kid._

The silence was never something Seth was a fan of, but he welcomed it now. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts _and_ run around in his wolf form, which was a rare combination. He enjoyed the peace. While he was generally a loud, enthusiastic kid, everyone needs this kind of serene stillness every once in a while. Seth was grateful for his gift. He felt the dirt shift under his paws and felt himself connect with the earth below him. His _gift._ He knew most people wouldn't see it that way. Countless times he's heard his pack call it a curse, but he loved this part of his life. He loved the brotherhood, he loved the traditions and feeling connected with his ancestry. There was a lot of love for Seth to give. He ran wherever his legs could carry him, ending up basically doing a round. It was a quiet night and there were no unusual scents or leads. There was nothing that pointed to evidence there might be another vampire around. So he let his legs carry him back to the one place he wanted to go: to wherever Alex was.

Her house was still, lights all off and there was no movement. Seth must have been running for hours because it wasn't that late when he dropped her off. He settled down in a pile of leaves, breathing softly. Taking advantage of the silence, Seth listened very closely to the sounds in the house. He heard the loud, echoing snores of what must have been one of her dads. Close to him was the heavy deep breathing of what must have been her _other_ dad. He looked to a third room, one on the other end of the house, and he listened for breathing.

And listened.

And listened.

And nothing.

There was _nothing._

Panic spread throughout his chest and he shot up from his spot, eyes searching for her. Immediately, he thought of her walking down the street, alone. Like when she was being _followed._ He ran back in that direction, trying desperately to catch her scent. _Where was she?_ Did she not listen to him when he told her not to go outside? Of _course._ He couldn't believe she has just disappeared like that. If she was alone, she couldn't have gone far. Oh _god,_ he hoped she was alone. It _couldn't_ have been a leech. He cleared the area. There was nothing. Jake had noticed anything either. She had to be alone.

And _thank god_ he caught her scent, and _thank god_ she was alone. He followed it down to the end of the dirt road they lived on and found her, sitting on the edge of the woods. What was she _doing?_ Oh god, he just wanted to get her out of there. He considered phasing back and talking to her, but he imagined showing up shirtless on the street wouldn't exactly make her feel comfortable. He considered chasing her in his wolf form back to her house, but he wouldn't live with himself if he made her afraid. The best he could do, he settled on, was sit there and make sure she was safe.

In the midst of his contemplation, he heard a gut-wrenching sob. He looked back at Alex and saw that she was curled up, sobs rocking her body. Instinctively, he stepped out of the woods, making himself visible. He didn't even _think;_ it was the imprinting magic putting the need to comfort her above everything else. Alex's head snapped up, and when she saw Seth standing there, in his full wolf form, her eyes widened in fear. He halted all movement, and he stared at her. For a moment, all was still, and they just stared at each other. There was a moment of nothing, before Alex stood up, and pulled something shiny out of the pocket of her jacket. Seth nearly died when he saw it was a knife. He shouldn't have thought it was funny, but he let out a bark of a laugh, which to her must have been terrifying because she fell back on the ground in fear.

Seth stared at her for a while, unsure what his next move would be. He didn't want to scare her, but he couldn't leave her because he needed to make sure she got home safe. So he decided to act like a dog. In one swift movement, he dropped on his back, with his legs in the air with his tongue flopping out. She looked at him with an apprehensive expression but slowly flicked her knife close, shoving it back in her pocket. To convince her more, he let out a whimper and wagged his tail. God, he felt like an idiot. "What the fuck," she whispered gently, and took one step closer. Seth didn't move. He didn't want to scare her away. "What the _fuck,"_ she whispered again, louder this time. "Do...do you want me to pet your or something?"

He nodded, without thinking of the implications of how _human_ that made him seem. Antagonizingly slow, she approached him with an extended arm. Seth nudged his head closer to him, and she slowly let her fingers scratch under his ear. "This is so fucking _weird,"_ she commented at the sight of his tongue rolling out of his mouth.

* * *

"Are you _stupid?"_

Seth continued to chomp down on the muffin Emily gave him. "I'm sorry I thought that was established?" he said with a mouth full of chocolate chip goodness.

Embry rolled his eyes. "You terrified the poor girl. She pulled a _knife_ on you for fuck's sake."

"She pulled a _knife_ on you?" Collin, one of the younger members of the pack asked as he and several others walked into Sam and Emily's kitchen, overflowing it with shirtless Natives. "Jesus Seth, what did you do to the girl? She didn't even pull a knife on Brady."

The boy mentioned threw his arms out in exasperation. "Listen! I'm not sure who decided to make me the villain when Seth's girl is a such a _bitch."_

Seth stood from his chair and stared down Brady. "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you, he spat at him, and it would have sounded more threatening if there wasn't almost an entire muffin in his mouth. Embry planted his hand on Seth's shoulder and dragged him back down to the chair. Seth narrowed his eyes. "Back off, asshat."

"Alright relax, killer. It's _Brady,_ what else were you expecting?" Embry grumbled, rolling his eyes. He was so _sick_ of all the imprinting shit. "Can we get back to the issue at hand? Seth you _exposed_ yourself in front of her."

Paul, who had been sitting on the kitchen counter, raised his eyes at the younger boy. "Wow, really? Damn, Sethy, I didn't know you had it in you. How'd she react?" He grinned. "Did you get some love in return?"

"Gross, Paul," Seth grumbled, flicking some bits of muffin at him. "That's not what he meant." He slumped further into his chair and crossed his arms. "I approached her in my wolf form. And, I let her pet me," Seth mumbled the last part, really hoping no one would catch it. The fact that he dropped to the ground like a dog was a embarrassing.

But Embry wouldn't let that happen. "He _wagged his tail_ and pretended to be a dog," he said with a chuckle, rustling Seth's already messy hair. "He's just a little puppy," he coped, and Seth pushed him off. "What did she call you, Seth? What was it again? It was a _such_ a cute little nickname." Seth mumbled something incoherent, and buried his face in his arms. "What was that?" Embry questioned again.

"She called me nugget!" Seth barked out, head still buried. The redness rushed to his cheeks while everyone laughed at him. It _was_ cute when Alex said it. She was petting his head and he gave her cheek a quick lick and she called him a 'precious nugget' and boldly proclaimed, 'how could anyone be scared of you?' Yeah, at the time it was cute. However, the current attack on his masculinity made it now seem significantly _un_ cute.

Seth knew one of the alphas arrived when the laughter stopped. Ever since the split between Jacob and Sam, the packs remained somewhat divided, with an alliance that came naturally. They worked together on patrols, thoughts passed through their minds easily, and it was divided by the two different leaders. Of course, there were times when Sam and Jake would butt heads, but they always came to an agreement of some sorts. At the end of day, it was impossible to tear apart a group of brothers.

Seth looked up from his shelter to see Jacob standing above him. "We need to talk," he said to Seth with a grave tone.

Stomach dropping, Seth stood and followed his alpha out of the house and into the yard. He considered their encounter last night, and he _knew_ it had something to do with the Cullen's. He considered all the worst possibilities in his head, picturing Alex as the newest member of the Cullen Clan, with sparkling skin and red eyes. He shuddered at the thought. Even worse, he saw her body broken as Edward or Carlisle or _someone_ looked him in the eyes and said ' _we couldn't save her.'_

He couldn't help but torture himself.

"It's not as bad as you think," Jake started, giving Seth some release. "But Alex was with a Cullen for about an hour yesterday. And, it was Esmee."

Esmee. Esmee was sweet and kind and motherly, and she cooked Seth _delicious_ meals while he did protection details outside their house. It wasn't necessarily a bad or dangerous thing. it was just _confusing. "_ But why? Jake that doesn't make any sense."

The older boy shrugged. "They wouldn't tell me that part. Said it had something to do with confidentiality. But, I can tell you this. The Cullen's have a lot of free time, and a couple years back Esmee decided she wanted to work. She got a degree, and opened up her own private practice. She's a therapist, Seth."

There was a brief silence between the two of them while Seth processed. "So..." he trailed off.

Jacob shrugged. "So...your girl's got issues."

* * *

 **yah its short but fr some reason writing in seths perspective is harder lemme know whatchu think, lov u**

 **also seth clearwater' favorite band is the jonas brothers**


	7. seven (alex)

**i made a playlist of songs alex would listen to** **user/laurenbayuk/playlist/1QQXFxoTKJND8znxNnHDSX**

* * *

It was so _pathetic_ that if Seth was too busy to see me or didn't text me, I spent the entire day inside the house. Selena enjoyed the company, considering she was still craving a mate, but I knew I had better options than a horny cat.

Baba got home early from work, so Dad ordered some extra cheesy pizza and the three of us decided it would be a good time for a movie night. Normally, and by normally I mean back in San Diego, I would have thrown on my lazy day sweatpants and curled up on the couch before we even decided on a movie, but today I was feeling restless. The sun had yet to set, so it was bright enough for me to explore, and I needed to get out of the house before the day ended.

"Hey Baba," I said, approaching my younger father with a small, pleading smile on my face. He turned around and gave me a knowing look, knowing I was going to ask for something. He lifted his thick eyebrows at me. "Do you mind if I skip out on movie night tonight? I'm feeling a bit restless and I need to go out and get some new clothes and stuff anyway. Plus Selena's just as restless as me and needs new toys."

A soft laugh fell from his lips. "You need more clothes?" he challenged with a smile on his face. "I find that to be slightly unbelievable. You have more plain, black shirts than I have pants, jigar."

Dad interjected with a laugh of his own. "No, she needs to go thrifting and spend $30 on a too small Hawaiian shirt she would make fun of us for wearing." My dads shared a laugh at my expense, and I let out a little giggle of my own, knowing they're right.

Baba smiled at me. "You can go out, just don't spend too much money, and try to come back before midnight. You know, there are like, bears and such."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Yeah. _Bears._

The good thing about having parents that trust you is that you end up with a car at night driving to a city you've never been to before to find some thrift shop. The bad thing about having parents that trust you is that you end up in a city you've never been to at night to find some thrift shop, which is more terrifying than one may presume. Of course, Port Angeles was no San Diego, but the nonetheless it was a populated area in which I was unfamiliar. By the time I had arrived, the sun had dipped below the horizon and streetlights were the only thing that lit my way. I couldn't wait to get out and stretch my legs, feel the moonlight on my skin and breathe in the air. I felt safer about the lack of _animals_ at this time, considering the lack of trees.

I had to drive for about twenty minutes before I found parking, but once I did it was inconvenient and out of the way. Full of nervous habits, I put my keys in between each of my fingers and locked my car six times. It only takes one incident to change the way you do things forever, and I would always be on the verge of self-defense, ready to fight anyone that posed a threat. The parking lot was just a little ways away from what looked like a shopping center, so I put my fists in my sweatshirt pockets and kept my head down as I walked under fluorescent street lamps. The farther away I got from the empty lot, the safer I would feel.

Port Angeles was small and disappointing. Almost every shop there catered to older women or was insanely overpriced. I had managed to find a few thrift shops, but they were mostly ugly, odd smelling men's clothes from the eighties, and no matter what any fashion magazines told me, the eighties were _not_ back in fashion. I had found one pet store, but it was a pet store full of snakes that looked very poisonous and very angry to be kept in a cage. The shop keeper, who's beard had what looked like a ham sandwich stuck in it, gave me a sickening smile that was probably just meant to be friendly. I left that store quicker than any of any of the others, with a tightened grip around my keys. It had crossed my mind that, maybe despite the trust of my parents and protesting to my therapists, I wasn't ready to be out on my own like this. As I walked down the street, I flinched at every man that walked by, trying to puff out my shoulders and make myself seem stronger while also shrinking into myself, hoping they wouldn't notice me.

It didn't work, but I didn't notice that.

My seemingly irrational fear of men somehow brought my mind back to Seth, the gangly boy with deep eyes and a wolfish grin. Whenever I saw a man I didn't recognize, I backed up in fear and planned my first strategy in self-defense. But, for some reason, I decided to trust Seth the second I met him. I walked into a house alone with him, willingly. Of course, he had given me no reason not to trust him, but then again neither did the many male faces I saw on a daily basis. For some wild reason, I trusted him, and I craved his protection. The thought of him by my side seemed drastically more safe and comforting than this. I cursed my restless energy that brought me here instead of eating extra cheesy pizza with my parents while we watched White Chicks in sweats.

Not only was I feeling intense paranoia over every man that passed me in the street, but I was also tossing around the knowledge that I was up all night playing with a _giant wolf._ I knew sneaking out in the middle of the night to find a secluded area was _dumb,_ considering the "... _animals"_ comment. But I was panicking, breathing heavily, and managed to shove a pocket knife in my sweatshirt. But that wolf was like a giant dog, panting with his tongue out and what looked like a stupid smile. He wagged his tail when I scratched his ears and licked my face. I named him Nugget. If that was the kind of animal Seth warned me about, then there really was a _nothing_ to be scared of in that tiny little reservation. I felt considerably safer knowing that I befriended a giant wolf with razor sharp teeth.

I was thinking about my intense need to be protected as I walked down the poorly lit street. Every street in this state was a hill, and I had been walking up and down these stupid hills. Despite the fear, I was enjoying my late night stroll through the city. As I stumbled towards the bottom of one hill, I heard a noise from my left. There was a space between two buildings, and my stomach lurched at the sight of them. Two men stood there with bottles of alcohol, one smoking a cigarette. My breath caught in my throat when I made eye contact. They knew I was here, and the sickening grin on their faces made my stomach churn.

I walked a little bit quicker, trying to get back to the parking lot quicker. My eyes snapped shut and I exhaled. This _could not_ be happening. "Hey, sweetheart!" I heard one call after me, and I almost threw up. My legs couldn't move fast enough and I felt that same tingling sensation in my back. They were getting _closer_ and there was nothing I could do about it. _This_ was my luck. Being surrounded and followed and stalked by men like the ones that were getting dangerously close to my back. "Hey, baby girl!" I flinched. _Not_ that name.

I didn't turn around. I was praying that if I kept my head down, they would ignore me. Leave me alone. Let me live. Prayers that were not answered, because I felt a hand snake around my arm, and whip my body around. I was face to face with these two men. _Fuck_ why was everyone taller than me? I felt the cool metal of my keys in between my fingers and thought about how I probably wouldn't even be able to _reach_ either of their faces to tear them up. "It's not polite to ignore gentlemen callers, sweetheart," one of them said while taking a sip out of a bottle.

My eyes narrowed at him. "Yeah, well I'm not exactly interested in any callers." I tried to pull away, but he kept an iron grip on my arm. "Let go of me."

When they laughed, I knew they had no intention of doing any such thing. I acted before I could think, and before they could do something _worse_ I used the arm that was free and swung my fist, with the keys in between each of my fingers, and swung at the man holding me. When the metal hit his face, the blood seeped out in what looks like claw marks. He kept the firm grip on my arm, though turning away his face. "Fuck!" he yelled. "You bitch!"

"I said _let me go,"_ I snapped back, pulling my body away from him once more.

The other man looked at me with contempt. "Oh, your gonna get it now," he growled, and fear stopped the words in my throat.

The tingling sensation hit my spine again, and I lost all hope, convinced it was someone else ready to join. "She said to let her go." Hope rushed over me at the sound of that familiar voice.

I turned my head to see Embry standing there, looking far more terrifying than the last time I saw him. _Fuck_ he was tall. Why the hell was everyone here so tall? "Bro, you better stay out of this," said the man who currently wasn't nursing a bleeding cheek. I used this opportunity to pull away, and I backed up behind Embry. "We were just about to have our way with the little babe."

Embry shrugged. "Oh, well that's interesting because-" and then he punched the guy in the face.

I was partially convinced Embry killed the guy, and I didn't feel an ounce of sympathy. He dropped to the ground like a fly, and I shrugged. My attack was a lot braver, while, admittedly, Embry's was a lot more badass. "C'mon, let's go," he said, and I followed him away from the two men, though I kept looking back at the scene. "Did you rip his eye out? That would have been sick. Anyways, can I catch a ride home with you? I ran here."

* * *

Embry Call made for interesting company.

Firstly, I was _profoundly_ disturbed by the idea that he _ran_ all the way to the closest city. Second, he was so flippant about what had happened. _I punch dudes all the time,_ is what he said when I demanded answers. And that seemed hard to question, considering how quickly he made that dude drop. He tried to make casual conversation with me while I was still processing the fact that I almost got...I don't even know what. Embry was acting like it was a normal Thursday night.

"So what CDs do you have?" he questioned casually, getting settled in my passenger seat. "Unless you're an AUX chord type person."

I shook my head as I began driving away from the spot. I was desperate to get away from Port Whatever and never go back. "They're uh, in the glove box. It's mostly nineties alternative and-"

"No way! You have the Jonas Brothers?"

"-and the Jonas Brothers," I finished with a small laugh. "To be fair I got most of them a few years ago. But then again I still listen to them, so."

I kept my eyes on the road while he flipped through the book of CDs. "How do you have every Weezer CD? That's amazing!"

"Yeah, I just guess I'm really cool and individual or whatever so, um, are you gonna tell me why you ran here? And how you were conveniently right there when I needed help?" I questioned as we drove on what seemed like a completely deserted road, surrounded by nothing but giant old trees. I should have felt uncomfortable, but because he was Seth's friend, he had to be somewhat trustworthy.

Embry just chuckled. "Can't you just be appreciative that I _was_ there? I'm sure you don't wanna imagine what would have happened if I wasn't there." I gulped. He was right. "Although," he said with a grin, "I'm sure you would have liked it much better if Seth was there to save you," he teased.

I rolled my eyes, despite a blush reaching my cheeks. "I've met Seth three times. He's a nice guy but I don't have fantasies about him rescuing me from perverts on the street." It was true, but the idea of Seth there instead of his friend did make me feel that same warm feeling. I pictured him punching that dude and _fuck_ it had me feeling some type of way.

"So what I'm getting at is you _do_ have fantasies about him, just not ones with such a damsel in distress type vibe?" I shot him a quick glare. "You should be grateful it was me instead of Seth. Call me crazy but I don't think witnessing Seth murder two dudes in cold blood would have made you feel any better."

"I'm not a damsel in distress," I shoot back. "Did you not see me punch that guy in the face? I took self-defense classes in San Diego. The owner of the shop gave me a discount because he thought I was Latina."

He snorted. "Alright, I'll give you that. Putting the keys between your fingers was smart. That guy's probably gonna have scars on his face for _weeks._ I hope he has to explain to his mom or girlfriend or whoever why he has cuts all over his face. Were you walking around like that?" he asked, and I just gave a nod in response, not exactly feeling proud of my paranoia, despite the fact that it had paid off. Speaking of which, it was likely said paranoia would increase _dramatically._ "That's badass dude."

"Fuck, I guess you're right," I agreed with a small chuckle. "So are you going to tell me why you ran here?" I could see why my therapists and parents found it annoying when I deflected so heavily. I just wanted a straight answer from the kid.

"No probably not." I turned to stare at him. Was he just going to blatantly shut me down like that? "Hey, keep your eyes on the road. I know I'm a good looking dude, but we wouldn't want to make Sethy-boy jealous now would we?"

I turned my eyes back to the road not because he told me to, but because I didn't want to look at him anymore. Also, whenever he mentioned Seth, I became acutely aware of the fact that I _missed_ him, and I didn't like that. How could you miss someone you barely knew? "I'm going to ignore literally everything you just said. And I'm contemplating ignoring your existence. The jury's still out on that one, though." I paused. "You're awfully comfortable around me, despite the fact we met like, yesterday."

He grinned. "Yeah, well I figured since Seth's gonna be having you around a lot we might as well be friends. And besides, you're fun to tease. Those make for good qualities in a friend. Freinds with my friends, and easy to make fun of.

"You know I think that's called bullying? And how do you know Seth's gonna be having me around a lot? Don't know how many times I've said this but I've only met him three times. Shit, for all I know he could be like, a weirdo who likes My Little Pony, or is like a serial killer or something." This was a stupid thing to say. _I_ knew that I would be spending a lot of time with Seth, if things went my way, because of that stupid connection I couldn't deny, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. "For all I know, _you_ could be into My Little Pony."

"Um, no. I'm not a bronie. Not sure if you could tell, but I'm a smoking hot nineteen year old Native boy with killer abs and a great smile. I don't need to sexualize a little girl's show to get off."

I shook my head. Seth's friends were _wild. "_ Wow Embry I think you need to work on your self esteem. It's not healthy to think so low of yourself."

"Ah, there's no need to deny it. Everyone knows I'm cute. If Seth didn't have a claim on you, there would be _absolutely_ no denying it." I went to retaliate, but was interrupted by the loud, howl of a wolf. I nearly crashed the car. "Speaking of which, I've gotta go explain to loverboy why I've been flirting with his girl. See ya."

And with that, Embry rolled down the window and _jumped out of my moving car._

"What the _fuck?"_ I yelled after him, slamming on the breaks. Quick as I could, I jumped out of the drivers seat and looked for him, but he disappeared. He was completely _gone._ "What the _FUCK?"_ I yelled, throwing my arms up around me.

Defeated, I got back in my car and sped home. I was tired, and _not_ in the mood to question anything anymore. San Diego sucked, but here, in Washington, nothing made sense. Giant wolves hung out with me and random boys jumped out of my car. _Fuck._ Seth seemed to be the only normal part about this weird ass town.


	8. eight (seth)

"I don't care if you never talk to me again. I've said it once and I'll say it again: eggs are disgusting and there's no good way to eat them. I do not care if Guy Ferri or Jesus descended from the sky above with a pan of fried eggs; I would not eat them."

Seth stared at Alex with a hurt expression, and for the first time ever, questioned whether fate was playing a cruel joke on him, making her his imprint. He didn't care that she snuck out to chill in the woods late at night, or hung out with a vampire every week, or even that she flirted with Embry a little bit (although that one made his stomach twist into knots). It was the fact that she hated something that made him so happy: eggs. "I cannot even believe I'm talking to you right now. How can you hate eggs? They are the _staple_ of breakfast food!"

"I _hate_ breakfast food!" Alex shot back. There was a fire in her voice that made this conversational seem ridiculously comical to Seth. Well, it would have, if he wasn't so offended by her terrible taste. "We should all just eat dinner! Every meal! What's for breakfast? Stuffed chicken. Lunch? Well, we got some lobster right over here. Dinner? Filet mignon. It's delicious. It's savory. And we never have to worry about people putting bacon on articles of clothing ever again."

He was amazed. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm _right._ Think about it. Just for a second. think about how much better the world would be if every meal was dinner. It would feed your gigantic appetite."

"We'd all be fat."

Alex rolled her eyes at him, her big, beautiful eyes and Seth couldn't help but smile. "'Fat' is a social construct invented to shame women about their body shapes so they could buy expensive weight loss products and fuel capitalism. It's just another idea men use to control women."

"I don't understand what you say but I love the way you say it."

Alex laughed, and Seth stared, mesmerized by the sound of it, and the smile on her face. As much as he tried, he really couldn't describe how _beautiful_ she was to him. Her deep brown hair was usually thrown in a messy bun, but strands usually fell out around her heart shaped face. Her skin looked so soft and flawless, and her lips were full and pink and pulled into a smile that gave Seth butterflies. Alex put on makeup every day, and she was good at it. Her cheeks sparkled in the light and the black coming off her eyes looked so straight and perfect Seth was convinced it must have taken her hours to do. _It's to make my nose look smaller_ , she had told him when he asked why she did it every day, but he liked her nose, and how well it fits her face. She was _perfect._ "When do I get to meet more of your friends?" she questioned, nudging Seth a little. The two of them were sitting on her front porch, just talking. "You promised me I'd meet more people but you've kept me all to yourself."

She was teasing him, and he knew that, but she was right. He _was_ keeping her all to himself. After having to endure Embry's _very vivid_ thoughts about Alex, included a detailed description of her thighs, he wasn't interested in introducing her to anyone else. Or ever letting her near Embry ever again. Like, never. He knew Em was doing it to mess with him, but that didn't mean he had to think it was funny or let Alex within a fifty-mile radius of him. Or, any of them, for a matter of fact. They were all terrible. On the other hand, he couldn't break a promise to Alex, no matter how small. "I mean if you _really_ wanna meet my weird friends I _guess_ I could make something work for you."

"Ah, that's my boy," Alex said, and Seth blushed endlessly. "Now that you mention it, though, your friends are really weird. I know I told you about Embry but did I tell you he jumped out my car's window _while I was driving?_ The kid's insane. He should have like broken a bone or something."

This time Seth couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Embry's really weird. He does stupid stunts like this all the time. Thinks he's like, indestructible or something. He just wanted to freak you out or impress you or something," Seth said honestly.

"Yeah Embry does look like one of those dudes that own a shirt that says ' _I do my own stunts,'"_ Alex laughed at her own joke, but her chuckle faltered when she saw Seth's face. "That's not a compliment," she said, hoping to clarify.

"I have one of those shirts," Seth lied, feigning a hurt expression.

Her nose crinkled. "Really? Those shirts are so cringy Seth! Damn, I thought you were cool."

"Well shit, I was just kidding, Lex. I don't have one of those shirts. Good to know you're filled to the brim with sympathy," Seth teased with a smile. Alex looked at him with wide eyes and a small smile. "What are you looking at me like that for? Did you figure out another way to hurt me?"

"No, I'm just trying to figure out if 'Lex' is a nickname you just came up with on the spot or if it's something you came up with a while ago and it just now slipped."

Once again, Seth blushed deeply. He was grateful for his dark skin to cover it up. Honestly, Seth had been trying to figure out which name she would like most. He wasn't proud to admit that he put _a lot_ of thought into it. 'Lexi,' 'Allie,' and 'Al,' just didn't seem right. For some reason, 'Lex' just seemed to fit. It sounded right. Was Seth gonna tell her that? Not a chance in hell. "The name fits. It's short and weird like you."

"Oh, so you _did_ think about it?"

"You know what?" Seth retorted, crossing his arms. "I was gonna invite you to a bonfire tomorrow night and you could hear all our really _sick_ local legends but you know what? You'll just bully me. Bully me like you're bullying me now." He put a pout on his face. "This is what I get for being nice."

"Oh stop being a baby," Alex giggled and lightly poked Seth's cheek. "I'll go to the bonfire with you if that was your lame way of asking."

Seth brightened up. "It was."

* * *

Over the past week, Seth didn't get a lot of sleep. He spent almost every day with Alex, and if he wasn't with her he was on patrol, or with his pack, which was exhaustive on its own. And at night, he had to babysit Alex. She was predictable. Every night around three A.M, she would wander outside, pocket knife in her hand, as if _that_ would really protect her, and walk. She ended up in a different spot, so Seth started out at the end of her driveway and would follow her to wherever she ended up.

Tonight was no exception.

Alex walked out of her front door and Seth's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Normally, Alex was in holey jeans and oversized jackets. But tonight, she strode out of her house with loose cotton shorts that showed off her legs. Her old band shirt was cut and revealed the tiniest bit of her navel, but it was enough to catch Seth's eye. Of course, she covered it all up with a giant army jacket longer than her shorts.

Seth took back what he had said earlier. Alex was _hot._

She walked quicker than normally tonight, thighs jiggling as she picked up speed. Before he knew it, Alex was in a full blown sprint, like she was running from something. Seth grew concerned. Alex has complained to him multiple times about her hatred for exercise and running, and from what he knew about her, she wouldn't run while in her right mind.

Finally, Alex collapsed at the beach closest to her house, out of breath and shaking. Even from a distance, Seth could hear the sobs. His heart hurt, whimpering as he made himself known to her. Alex turned her body to look at him, not even looking surprised at the sight of Seth, or as she called him, Nugget, in front of her. "Oh thank god," she said, hiccuping through her sobs, "I need a good cuddle with a giant wolf right about now." Seth walked towards her, and laid down by her side, nuzzling into her. Alex rested her face in the back of his neck. Seth felt the tears falling down her face and seeping down towards his skin.

"I got in a fight with my Baba," she said quietly, though in a breathy voice. Another hiccup. "Normally I get into fights with Dad, because we're both so hot headed. Baba is usually so calm about everything. He's like the peacekeeper. But oh, god I think he hates me now!" she cried, breaking into heavy sobs, and buried her face in his fur.

Seth's heart hurt. He wanted to put his arms around her and kiss her forehead and tell her it was impossible for _anyone_ to hate her, especially not her own father. Her sobs slowed, and she took another deep breath. "We fought about _him_ again. Babe keeps pushing me to this _therapy_ shit because he thinks it's gonna help but _fuck_ it doesn't! It never helps. Talking to strangers in cold offices has never helped. And he thinks I'm stupid. Baba said if I had any sense I wouldn't trust another boy ever again. He said he couldn't stop me from making the same mistakes but," she stopped and took a deep breath, "but he said every time he hurt me, it hurt him. He said throwing myself to the wind was selfish."

Seth let out a whimper to let her know he was listening, and that he understood she was hurting. _Fuck_ he wanted to take her pain away so badly. "Every time I cried, my fathers cried too. I hurt, and they hurt too, and they ended up with the trust issues. I don't want to hurt them anymore, but I can't stop living my life because of it. If I deny myself the things that make me happy, I'm not getting any better."

Seth had a sickening feeling that they were fighting about _him._ And he had a _worse_ feeling that it was because someone hurt her in the past.

"I don't know what it is about him, Nugget," she said with a change of tone, and Seth's ears perked up. "I can't stay away from him. I've managed to shut everyone else out. I built up a bunch of walls, and I'm _terrified_ of men. But with Seth, it's like none of that even existed in the first place. He makes life seem _normal._ I need that."

Seth's heart beat quicker at her words, and they relieved some of the aches in his heart. "He's a good friend, a good kid. Honestly, I don't care what any therapist has said. Isolating myself from people isn't going to help. I need friends. I need a life. A good, _normal_ life."

Alex lifted her head and smiled down at Seth. "Well, normal besides the fact my night time companion is a giant teddy bear of a wolf."

* * *

Wow, you look like shit," was how Alex greeted Seth as she slid into the passenger seat of his truck.

In all fairness, yes, Seth did look like shit. He was sleep deprived, especially after last night. When he shut his eyes, he saw Alex crying and his eyes shot wide open. It was _taunting_ that she was experiencing such pain and there was nothing he could do to stop. He didn't even understand _why_ she was hurting. And technically, he shouldn't have known she was hurting. Around Seth, Alex was happy and witty. Around his wolf form, she was crying and hyperventilating. "Yeah well, you don't look too..." he trailed off, looking at his imprint. She was beautiful. He couldn't even lie about it. "Eh, you're right. I look terrible."

Alex cautiously raised the back of her hand to his forehead. "Jesus, Seth. Are you sure you're not sick? Your forehead is so _hot._ There's no way you don't have a fever, especially considering the bags under your eyes."

It would be _so much_ easier if Seth could just tell her what he was, because maybe then she would stop asking him about his body temperature. But Seth heard her last night. Alex needed normal her in life, and the last time he checked, turning into a giant wolf and biting the heads off of vampires wasn't normal. And Seth would be _anything_ she needed. Normal included. "Lex, for the millionth time I'm not sick. I just can't help it that I'm naturally hotter than you."

"Whatever, Seth," she said, despite her smile. "When you die of the flu or Spanish influenza or the bubonic plague or something dumb and treatable like that I'm not gonna cry." Seth knew that was a lie. She would definitely cry. "Let's just go so I can make some new friends and ditch you forever."

"Good luck shorty," Seth said, pulling out of her driveway, "you're never getting rid of me."

* * *

It was clear to Seth that Alex was shocked by the number of people at this bonfire. "Wow, Seth, this whole time I thought you didn't have any friends and you were making this all up."

"Have I ever told you that I find your complete and total lack of faith in me insulting?" he replied, placing a hand over his heart. "Trust me for once, maybe."

"Hey, Alex!" Seth's stomach dropped at the sound of Embry's voice, and how _excited_ he sounded to see her. Of course, he was the first person to notice his imprint there. He practically ran over to the pair of them, and Seth gave him a glare, in hopes to communicate how annoyed he was.

Alex's eyes widened at the boy in front of her. "Well, shit, dude, I thought you might be dead after you jumped out of my moving car and then disappears into the night. And yet, here you are, alive, with not one broken bone. I imagined you getting eaten by a bear."

Embry rolled his eyes. "You sound almost disappointed. Would you have liked if I had died and gotten eaten by a bear?"

Seth couldn't believe it. Embry was flirting with her _right in front of him._ Seth wanted so badly to put an arm around Alex and pull her away from the boy, but he didn't think he could pull it off without looking psycho. Alex waved her hand dismissively. "I would spend less of my time, being annoyed, admittedly."

A laugh escaped Seth, and he felt smug at her response. "C'mon, Lex. Let's go meet everyone else. I told them you were great, so they have high expectations of you."

Embry eyed me carefully, probably trying to see if I was mad enough at him to phase. I wasn't, but if he kept up the flirting, I might have been. "Why would you do that?" Alex asked, bringing Seth's eyes back down to her. "You should have told them I was awful, so I don't disappoint."

"How could I lie like that, Lex?"

Seth pretended not to notice the slight blush on her cheeks. He led her towards the fire, where everyone was mostly gathered. All eyes turned to her, the newest addition. "Alright, get ready is a lot," Seth whispered into her ear. "Alex, this is Jared, Kim, Emily, Sam, Jacob, you know Quil, and that's little Claire Paul, my sister Leah, you met her, Collin, and your favorite, Brady. Everyone, this is Alex." _Please don't ruin this for me._

There were hearty greetings from the people in front of them, and Alex managed to respond with a general "hey, what's up," though she didn't quite match their enthusiasm. It was Kim that flew up to her and pulled Alex into a hug. Timidly, she returned it. "It's so nice to meet you!" she said. "Seth won't stop talking about you!"

The aforementioned boy gave Kim a glare, but he didn't notice how relieved Alex was. He was too busy wallowing in his own embarrassment. "It's nice to meet you too! I've been in desperate need for some female companionship."

Kim was beaming. "Well, here I am, at your service! And your eyeliner looks great by the way! What kind do you use?" Before Alex could answer, Kim turned to Seth. "You don't mind if steal her for a bit? Thank you're a doll."

Without another word to Seth, the two girls walked away side-by-side, talking about some girl named Kat. Seth smiled. Alex wanted friends, and Kim was the perfect option. She was nice, a girl, and an imprint. Which meant she would stay close. The closer, the better.

"Hey, Seth."

Embry appeared at his side and put a hand on his shoulder. "You know I'm just messing with you, right dude?" As an answer, Seth shrugged his hand off his shoulder. Embry sighed. "Look, you know I don't understand this imprint shit and how it's turned you into a temperamental pussy, but you're my brother, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"In that case, is it that hard to keep your thoughts to yourself? Practically yelling about how _nice_ you think her legs are isn't exactly brotherly," Seth scoffed, though he knew there was truth to Embry's words.

"Look, I'm not gonna lie to you, she's my type." Seth stiffened. " _But_ it's not something I would ever seriously considered. I just wanna be her friend. Do you think you can handle that, Seth? Do you think you can handle Alex having friends that aren't you?"

"She does. Look at her," Seth argued, nodding towards Alex and Kim, who were talking like long lost sisters. "But, yeah. I guess. Just...don't be a Brady."

Embry gasped. "I'm insulted you would even think that."

* * *

 **this chapter is baaaad and a filler but whatever anyways let's talk updates so i've been doing it a lot and i don't wanna set up a schedule because then i won't stick to it so i can tell you i won't update when my boyfriend comes to town and i won't update as much when next semester starts up so just enjoy them as they come because i cannot stop writing this lov u**


	9. nine (alex)

**ok y'all for real there's a bit of a trigger warning in the first section of the chapter so just be careful**

 **also; do y'all like seth chapters or alex chapters better ? lemme know**

 **i wrote the last half of this drunk lov u**

* * *

"A lot of people don't believe it, but if you ask me, the evidence is all there. I mean, people change, but I'm not sure how you go from a 'Sk8er Boi' aesthetic to a 'Girlfriend' aesthetic just like that? It doesn't seem possible. Avril wasn't murdered by the government, but she is dead and was replaced. The Illuminati, however, has no-"

"What do you want out of this treatment, Alex?"

The question made me stop my rambling. I folded my legs towards me and frowned at Dr. Cullen. I had seen her three times in total, and every visit, I talked about my favorite conspiracy theories and the history of various serial killers, but never about any of my _issues._ Dr. Cullen took it like a champ, nodding her head and asking questions. But now, she wanted to _actually_ talk. "Well, doc, I'm not exactly sure how it's not clear, at this point, but I don't want _treatment_ in the first place. No offense; you've made lovely company. But this isn't exactly where I'd like to be spending my Wednesday nights."

She crossed her legs and hummed. "And where exactly would you like to spend your Wednesday nights?"

 _With Seth._ "Oh, the typical teenage gig. Drive up to Seattle, do some LSD off a stripper and then, when I look into her eyes, we fall in love, that stripper. and I. Her name's Angel, and we marry in Vegas the next day. We live a happy, albeit short life. We die, side by side from a fatal case of crabs." I smiled at her.

"That's quite an imagination you have, Alex," she said, and I was amazed at how she managed to make it sound like a genuine compliment. Not once has she adopted my sarcastic, condescending tone. "But for someone who likes to talk a lot, you never do talk about your emotions." Well, _fuck,_ nevermind.

I shrugged. "Don't got 'em. Emotions are for the weak."

Dr. Cullen never got angry with me. She never got frustrated or annoyed, and not even now. I'm sure observing me was some part of her psychoanalysis of me. "Alex, we have spent," she looked down at her watch, "forty-five minutes talking about the alleged death of a pop star in the early 2000s. I _know_ that if you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't be here. But for some reason, you're here, taking to me."

I rolled my eyes. "My dads want me to be here. It's important to them. I'm not a piece of shit, okay? I'm not gonna ditch out on therapy appointments because it gives them a piece of mind." That was the most serious answer I had ever given her.

"So you'll come to these appointments for them, but you won't _try_ to get better for them? What's the point of coming to these appointments if you're not even going to pretend to try?"

Anger bubbled up inside me. I didn't like how she was challenging me. "I don't need to get better because there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine," I snapped, glaring at her.

"People who are fine don't have cuts up the lengths of their arm, Alex." My stomach dropped, and for the first time, I was speechless. "I've seen what it looks like when you're jacket sleeve falls down just a little. Granted, they're all old and scarred, but they're still there. You use humor as a deflection method to make everyone around you think you're okay. Nothing is ever serious to you because nothing _matters_ to you. You can't even take your own problems seriously; it's like they're a joke to you." She paused, and I looked her in the eye. "Is everything just a joke to you, Alex?"

For a long time, I glared at her. I was furious, livid. "Mistakes I made when I was _sixteen_ has nothing to do with how I am now," I said in a low, rough voice. I didn't know what to do but tugged down lower on the sleeves on my jacket. "And what ever happened to respecting my choice to chose what I tell you?"

Ignoring what I said, she leaned over her desk. "So you're telling me that all the urges are completely gone? That shaving your legs is no problem? That when you're alone, late at night, and I know you don't sleep, you can't cover the bags under your eyes with any amount of makeup, you don't get the urge to-"

Abruptly, I stood, glaring down at the woman before me, who had gone silent. I felt every muscle in my body tense; I was on fire. I couldn't remember the last time I was this angry. "Fuck you," I spat, and stormed out of her office. Outside, I threw my hand against the nearest tree, too hyped up to feel the pain that was probably there. Once inside my car, I let out a yell.

Self-mutilation was not how it was portrayed in teen romance novels or shitty T.V shows about the angst of the American teen. It was ugly and lonely and angry. In fiction, pretty girls and jock boys made fun of the hot yet misunderstood girl for the superficial cuts on her arms until some hot dude with a tortured past comes into her life and kisses her scars. She cries, he holds her, and everything gets better. _Love_ makes everything better. In real life, love doesn't cure you. In real life, you're alone in your room and people start whispering about why you wear long sleeves. There's no cute boy; but there's nurses and doctors and professionals telling you about some sort of therapy that, with _just a little bit_ of hard work, you can get better. It's your parents crying because they don't know how to help you, and they don't know where they went wrong. It's showing up to school after being in the hospital for a month and having to switch schools because you've become a social pariah. But the truth follows you, and it's harder to get away with jackets in San Diego than it is in Washington.

I sped out of the parking lot, knowing that I would be back next Wednesday, at three P.M sharp.

* * *

Seth was smiling when he opened the door, but that smile was replaced by a concerned expression when he saw my face. I hoped I looked as angry as I felt. "Lex, what's up? Why do you look murderous?" His eyes fell down my hand, I wrapped in several layers of ace bandages. "Holy shit what happened to your hand?"

I gave him a weak smile. "I may or may not have punched a tree?" His eyes widened at me, and I thought they might have popped out of his head. "Well, are you going to let me in or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me like a maniac? I may be in need of semi urgent care." Wordlessly, Seth opened the door wider and moved to the side, letting me in. I was slightly worried that he may have gone into some sort of a shock because he was just staring at the ground. Seth's kitchen was right near the door, and I leaned against the counter while he just stood there at the door, leaving it wide open. He was shirtless like he often was, but I could see his muscles were tensed as he took long, deep, breaths. "Seth?" I whispered gently.

When he turned around, he looked _pissed,_ though he kept his eyes trained on the ground. Angrier than I had ever seen him. His arms were shaking and I thought he might explode. When he spoke, it was slow and controlled, but laced with anger. "Why," he started out gently, taking another deep breath, "would you punch a tree, Alex?"

Normally, I'd make a joke about how the tree was disrespecting my woman, but he looked so terrifying I was afraid making a joke would worsen the mood. "Come inside, calm down, and I'll tell you," I whispered timidly. Seth looked up to meet my eyes, and I could see the anger drain from his muscles. He took long strides towards me, and took my injured hand in his, quickly unwrapping it.

"You have to ice it," he said and turned to open the freezer. He pulled out an ice pack, wrapped it in paper towels, and placed it on the top of my hand. It really did look awful. My middle knuckle was oversized and bruised, probably the size of a golf ball. "Ice it until the swelling goes down. If it doesn't go down within the hour and you still can't move it, we're going to the hospital and you're going to get an x-ray," Seth spoke with authority, and I knew that there was no point in arguing, no matter how badly I wanted to avoid hospitals. "C'mon," he said, grabbing my good hand and pulling me towards his room.

Gently, he closed the door behind him, leaning against it for a second. "Seth, you're acting weird," I said softly, shuffling awkwardly on my feet. Seth had been my closest friend here for about three weeks now, and I had never seen him act like this.

At my words, he seemed to relax a little bit. He turned to face me and pulled me into a hug. I was shocked, but I wrapped one arm around his bare waist and rested my head on his chest. "Why would you do that to yourself, Alex?"

I felt _guilty_ when he said it, like I had personally hurt him. "I was angry," I mumbled, and for the first time, I realized tears were threatening to fall down my face. I _refused_ to cry in front of Seth, so I blinked them back and kept my head on him. "I felt out of control and I needed to get my anger out. It was the only way I could think of at the moment."

I could hear Seth's heart beat. I could feel his chest rise with every breath he took. I felt connected to him. "What could make you that angry? Did someone hurt you?" He paused. "Alex, I hope you know that if someone hurt you, I'd be morally obligated to kill them," he said in a such a soft, comforting voice I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "I'll let you think I'm kidding."

"No one hurt me, Seth. It's just...I had a lot of issues back in California, and I made a lot of mistakes in the past. But they're in the past, and I'd like to keep them there. It's just," I sighed, nuzzling myself deeper into Seth's chest, "people are treating me so delicately because of those mistakes. I just want them to go away. I just want them to go away and I want to be treated normally." I pulled away slightly to look Seth in the eyes. "That's all I want: a normal life."

"Lex," Seth said in a heavy voice, resting his chin on the top of my head, "there's no such thing as a normal life, not the one you're thinking of. I know you think I have it, but I don't. Not at all. There's nothing to define a normal life. Everyone has problems and personal struggles and issues they need to sort through. It doesn't mean you're not normal, even if you do feel that way. And everyone, and I mean _everyone,_ makes mistakes that they think will ruin their life. But you can't fix those mistakes until you acknowledge them. I can tell that you just want them to go away, but they won't, not until you make them. And I promise, I'll be here for you will you go through that process."

Tears were now threatening to fall. " _Fuck,_ Seth, you're a really good friend. Like, goddamn, what did I do to deserve you."

Seth laughed, but he didn't say anything. He just stood there with his arms wrapped around me while I silently cried, hoping he wouldn't notice. We could have stood there forever, I think, but I was beginning to sweat. I pulled away and gave Seth a toothy smile, despite the tears on my face. I probably looked like a raccon and my eyeliner, which I made sure was sharp as a knife everyday, was probably smudged. It was my worst nightmare. "I don't like seeing you cry," Seth said. "How about this? My mom just went grocery shopping and we have cookie dough now. Wanna make some cookies?"

"Or we could eat the raw dough with a spoon?" I suggested, wiping my face. Seth gave me a look of disapproval. "Fine, we'll make the cookies. But you and I both know you're gonna end up eating most of them."

He beamed. "Oh, absolutely."

* * *

My fathers had mixed feelings about everything I was doing. On one hand, they were happy I was out of the house and busy, as, at my lowest point, I spent most of my time in my room. They were happy I had friends, and they were happy that, for the most part, I was happier than I was in San Diego. On the other hand, they were not exactly thrilled at how close I was becoming with Seth, a boy. They didn't trust him, despite never meeting him. Additionally, they didn't like that the majority of my friends were boys. It was the opposite of all my pasts relationships. They did, however, love Kim.

There was a knocking on my door while Baba and I were in a competitive game of Mario Kart. "Who is that, jigar?" Baba asked, somewhat curious and somewhat defensive. I shook my head. I had no idea. The only person I could think of was Seth, and he was at work, wherever that was. He was always working strange hours, doing whatever it was he did. Honestly, he would never tell me and ignore me when I asked. "We'll get back to this," he said pointing at the game of Mario Kart, which I was winning, before going to answer the door. Curiously, I followed him.

He opened the door, and I was shocked to see Embry standing there with a large grin. Baba stared at him apprehensively, while Embry tried to shake his hand. Baba just starred. "Hello sir, it's nice to meet you. I was wondering if Alex was here?"

I snickered quietly, standing far enough away that he didn't notice me. I knew how Baba would handle this. "What are you not going to introduce yourself?" he questioned, putting an accent on his natural Lebanese accent. "You come into my house, you look for my daughter, and you don't even give me your name? Are you Seth? Are you that Seth boy that keeps stealing my daughter?"

Embry blanched. "I, um, no, I'm not Seth. My name is Embry Call and I live on the reservation."

"Oh, so you're also trying to steal my daughter too?" Baba said, with a stern voice. I struggled to keep in my laughter.

"No, no, no, of course not! I would never try to steal your daughter I just wanted to know if she was interested in hanging out with me and my friends tomorrow night, is all. Sir. We're going to the drive-in, if that's okay with you."

"It doesn't matter if it's okay with me, it has to be okay with my daughter. I do not own her." I could tell from behind he had just leaned in a little but closer. "And neither do you." All the color drained from Embry's face. "Ah, relax. I'm just messing with you," Baba said in a normal voice. "Teenage boys are so sensitive. Jigar!" he called for me.

"Yes, Baba?" I said with a smile, approaching from behind. "Oh, hey Embry." I pretended to be surprised to see the boy. The look on his face was one for the books. He was horrified. He looked like I probably did when he jumped out of my moving car.

 _Fuck_ I would never forget that.

There was a silence where Embry seemed to be unable to form words. "Since this young boy has lost the ability to talk, he was wondering if you want to spend time with him and his friends at a drive-in tomorrow night. Would that be okay with you? Well, technically he asked if it was okay with me, but I know your rights."

"Yeah, I guess that would be okay with me. Thanks for acknowledging my rights, Baba." I turned to Embry. "Thanks for the invite. I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure Seth comes." And then I closed the door on him.

Baba and I continued on our game of intense karting. "Is Seth like that? Because that boy was so awkward."

"Nah," I said with a smile. "Seth's worse."

"Oh, I see," Baba said as he passed the finish line in second place. "You like him better. You have a crush on him."

A blush rushed to my cheeks. "Stop it, Baba. Don't be childish. Seth is my best friend here, and I've barely known him for a month."

"Hmm, sure. And your Dad and I are just roommates." I rolled my eyes. "You really like that boy. You don't have to say anything, jigar, because I know it's true." There was a silence. "Fine, alright. I can see how happy you are when you get home. I just want to meet the boy first. Give him a good scare. You know, I think that was my first mistake. I didn't give the first one a good scare."

"Whatever, Baba. Can I just keep kicking your butt at Kart or are you going to try to bond with me over boys more?"


	10. ten (seth)

Seth shuffled his feet anxiously, hands in his sweatshirt pocket, blowing the air of his cheeks. He was _nervous._ They had a few more hours until the sun began to set and they were set to leave, but he still had butterflies in his stomach as he pictured he and Alex sitting on a blanket on the back of his truck while some movie played. It would be just the two of them; he would make sure to kick everyone else out of his truck. She'd get cold because her army jacket was thin, and Seth would throw his arm around her and pull her into his side. It would be cute, and she would blush. And maybe, _just maybe,_ if Seth was lucky enough, he'd kiss her.

Kissing Alex had been something Seth thought about a lot. Her lips were almost always covered in some sort of lipstick, but he'd gladly let it smudge on his own lips. _Oh god,_ if Seth could kiss her then, shit, he could die happy. He had been relentlessly teased for his innocence and the fact that he had never had his first kiss. But Seth was glad he waited. he was glad it would belong to Alex. Or, at least he hoped it would belong to Alex because if it wasn't Alex, it wouldn't happen. Seth would never feel anything romantic towards anyone but Alex. And Seth was about eighty-percent positive she had some sort of attraction to him. She _had_ to, right? That's how imprinting worked. She had to feel this too. She acted like she did. Whenever Seth came into the room, she smiled brightly and her eyes lit up. They spent almost _every day_ together. _"Make sure Seth comes,"_ is what she told Embry. She _wanted_ him there. Everything within reason led Seth to believe that Alex wanted to be with him _almost_ as badly as he wanted to be with her.

And _goddamn_ Seth owed Embry for asking Alex when he pussied out.

Seth kicked the dirt underneath his feet, breathing heavily. His plan was to show up at Alex's house and ask her if she wanted to maybe grab some dinner with him, _just him,_ before the movie. He even waited till Alex was home alone before he approached her home; he had seen very vividly what her _Baba_ did to Embry, and he knew that he would get that treatment but a thousand times worse. He wanted to avoid that as long as possible, though he did enjoy watching it happen to Embry.

Alex was there, in her house, but the butterflies in Seth's stomach were too much for him to handle and he worried he might vomit if he tried to ask her out. Although, Seth had a pretty clear idea of what would happen; he'd ask her out to dinner, she would misunderstand and agree, and Seth would be too afraid to explain that he meant as a date. Still, he had to try.

With a new found sense of bravery, Seth made his way towards Alex's house. He wasn't far. In fact, he was waiting on the street outside her house. _This is my time_ Seth told himself as he bound up her driveway. _You got this Seth. Don't be a pussy._ He was walking up to her front steps. _Don't be a pussy._ He rang the doorbell. _Don't be a pussy._

When the door opened, Seth managed to pull his eyes off the ground and looked at Alex. "Do you wanna-" he started, before slowly dropping the rest of the sentence. Alex was standing in front of him, wrapped in a blanket with a box of tissues in her hands. _This_ was the first time Seth had seen her without makeup. _Of course,_ she was still the most beautiful person he had ever seen, _duh,_ but there were large bags under her eyes and her dark skin seemed drained. "Oh my god, what happened? Are you okay? Are you sick?" Seth was _not_ lucky.

Alex sniffled. "Wow," she said, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "I didn't know how I was gonna tell you, or even _if_ I was gonna tell you." Seth's heart beat quicker as he imagined the worst. "But, Seth, you're my closest friend, so I think it's safe to tell you, I'm pregnant."

With those words, Seth was almost positive his heart stopped. His world _ended._ "You're _what?"_ He couldn't believe it; he felt _numb._ There were so many thoughts passing through his head that he couldn't even grasp onto one. "Alex you've gotta be kidding. _Please tell me you're kidding."_

"Of course I am, you weenie," she said with an eye roll. "I have the flu or something lame like that. Good to know I've got your support, though. Now I know not to get pregnant."

"That is _not funny,"_ Seth nearly growled after his heart starting working. "Alex don't ever do that to me again. Oh my god. I thought I was gonna have to start building you a crib and pick out names, like Seth Junior." Alex rolled her eyes. To be completely honest, Seth was too relieved to be annoyed at Alex's dry sense of humor. He couldn't wait to get made fun of for that, though. "So I guess you're not coming tonight." It was more of a statement than a question.

"No, not unless everyone's okay with me throwing up all over them while they try to watch a movie," she said, her already low voice sounding lower than usual. Seth didn't want to mention that it would have been just the two of them, but he wanted to. And he wouldn't have even minded getting thrown up on, if he got to spend that time with Alex. _Fuck,_ he was pathetic. "I was gonna text you, but then you showed up at my house and here we are."

After a moment of contemplation, Seth brushed right by her and entered her house, ignoring the look on her face and the snide comment she made. "Well, consider me your like, nurse or something," he said, heading straight to her kitchen to look for some soup. "After my dad died, my mom got pretty sick and I took care of her, and now she's really healthy. She even eats vegetables and goes on walks sometimes. So, I'm _extremely_ qualified." Seth found a can of Campbell's chicken noodle and tossed it in the air. "Where are the pots?" he asked, turning to Alex, who was leaning against the kitchen island.

"I didn't know your dad died," she said softly, almost a whisper. Seth _forgot_ that little detail, and he felt almost guilty for not telling her. "There in the cabinet under the sink."

"It was a heart attack," Seth said, almost too casually as he made the soup. "It was a while ago, years. I've had a lot of time to grieve, so it's better now. At the time it was difficult. I was only fourteen," he sighed. "It caused a lot of changes in my life. Changes that turned out to be good," like turning into a giant wolf, "but changed that could have waited." Seth turned in the stove and turned to face Alex. He missed his dad sometimes, but the pain faded away more and more every day. "Go pick out a movie or something. We'll have our own movie night."

A smile grew on her face and Seth's heart fluttered. "Good news for you, Sethy; I was just about to start my Harry Potter marathon. You can join in if you'd like."

Watching Harry Potter with Alex was the most stressful thing Seth Clearwater had ever done, and he regularly shifted into a giant wolf and bit off the heads of vampires. First off, he had never met anyone more _passionate_ about Harry Potter than Alex in his entire life. She committed almost every line to memory, and would recite 'the most iconic ones.' And she had very strong feelings about every character, even the minor ones. There were _several_ points in the first, maybe thirty minutes, when Alex said, rather fervently, _Neville Longbottom deserved better._ Seth _tried_ to engage in conversation, but he did it incorrectly, _apparently_. "Draco Malfoy's kind of a dick, right?" he had said confidently, laughing. This resulted in an overdone gasp and a twenty-minute rant in which Alex _paused the movie_ to talk about how misunderstood Malfoy was. Seth didn't understand any of it. And even worse, when Seth said he had never seen _any_ of the movies, never mind read any of the books, Alex dedicated their entire friendship for the time being to Harry Potter education. Oh, and Alex threw up into a bucket every ten minutes. And Seth fell into protector mode, meaning he cleaned it all up, despite her protests.

He noticed, however, that her protests against him cleaning her vomit bucket weren't as strong as her protests against Severus Snape.

"I'm a Slytherin," Alex commented somewhere around the second movie, where Harry and his red-headed buddy disguised themselves as the evil dudes to leak information. "A lot of people think Slytherins are evil, but we're not. And you, well fuck, you're definitely a Hufflepuff."

"Lex," he groaned, throwing his head back, "I have _no idea what that means."_

I'll tell you what it means, boy, patience." She shifted herself to face him, and her face was so serious for this topic, Seth thought it was adorable. "The qualities of a Hufflepuff are, primarily, kindness, loyalty, hard work, and a generally optimistic outlook on life. Those also happen to be qualities I would use to describe you, as you are genuinely the kindest, most loyal person I've ever met."

 _This_ was the best compliment Seth had ever received from his imprint, and it made his heart beat irregular and heat rise to his cheeks. "Tell me about Slytherins."

The way Alex's eyes lit up when Seth asked her questions made him want to learn everything there was to learn about Harry Potter. "Slytherins are cunning, resourceful, and clever. We prefer to _think_ our way out of situations. It's a shame J.K Rowling took the easy way out and made every known Slytherin character a villain, there's a lot of potentials there. Now, shh, here's an important part."

And it was an important part. Not what happened, Seth honestly didn't give a fuck about a bunch of twelve-year-old kids and a bunch of spiders. But because Alex scooter closer to Seth and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. And that's all his thoughts were on. She fit so perfectly into his side. Without thinking, he lifted his arm and put it around her shoulder. And Alex? She snuggled closer to him. Everything about it was perfect. "The third one's after this," she said quietly, and with every word Seth could feel her breath in his chest. "And that one's my favorite. It has my favorite character, Remus Lupin," she said airily, and then threw up in the bucket.

Seth was returning from the bathroom with a clean, new bucket when he noticed something different. Alex had gotten rid of the blanket, sweatshirt, army jacket, and was lying on the couch with an old Weezer concert shirt and running shorts. Seth was acutely aware of the fact this was the first time he had seen her arms, and he didn't like what he saw.

But he wasn't about to say anything about that when she had a smile on her face, staring at the screen. Instead, he just slid right next to her and placed the bucket in front of her. "Stripping for me, I see?" Seth teased as she shit up and fell back into his side again.

"Listen I'm never going to understand why you're temperature is like three billion degrees but if we're sharing this couch I can't have a blanket because I already have a fever and-"

"Relax nerd. I was teasing you. Now let's see what's so great about this loser Lupin guy."

Seth felt kinda stupid when he realized Lupin was a werewolf.

When Alex first heard the Quileute 'legends,' her exact reaction was ' _wow that's pretty fucking badass; I'm gonna have to read up on that.'_ It was the story of the first transformation, and Seth had heard it like a _billion_ times, but that one was the best because he got to watch the wonder in Alex's eyes. Now he felt it was less special and was weirdly jealous of Remus Lupin. Alex knew he was a werewolf (the _bad_ kind that loses control and tries to kill people) and she still loved him. Seth was pretty sure if he told Alex he was a werewolf she would _literally_ try to transport him to a psych ward. And he was one hundred percent sure if he told her about the fact that he _imprinted_ on her, she would go on a long-winded rant about feminism and the right to choose and that Seth didn't have a right to her. That would be the most Alex reaction he could think of.

"I think the wolves in Quileute legends are cooler than that guy," Seth scoffed. "I mean, in our legends, werewolves protected Native people from pale faces."

"I mean, that didn't work out too well, considering the fact that white settlers from some white European country came over here and sold your people into slavery." She threw up again. "White people are the worst, aren't they?"

Seth let out a small laugh. How did she have this much in her stomach to throw up? She ate the soup, and that came up rough, but damn, what was her body rejecting? "Your dad's white, Lex."

"Yeah but only one of them, and not my biological one."

Seth brushed her hair off her face. Her skin was almost as warm as his. "You're ridiculous. Lemme go clean up your vomit."

After a few hours of banter and Harry Potter and cleaning up excessive amounts of vomit, Alex fell asleep. Her body was limp, and Seth decided to carry her up to her room. His arms looped around her legs and behind her back, and he carried her down the hall. Alex was necessarily the skinniest, but she was short as hell, at least a foot shorter than Seth. And her arms. Fuck. It wasn't _obvious_ at first what it was, but it didn't take long for Seth to figure it out. Thick, raised white lines around her wrist. Seth shuddered and pushed down the anger. It was something he would have to talk to her about, and for some reason, it seemed harder to bring up than the werewolf thing.

Alex's room was painted a deep maroon color, with Polaroid photos and fairy lights hanging all over the walls. There was concert posters, bookshelves, and a comforter with all the constellations. It was fitting. Seth placed Alex under the covers, and tucked her in, feeling very much like some sort of caretaker, and placed the bucket on her side. There was a soft _meow_ in the corner, and Seth looked over to see a white cat. Seth _hated_ cats, but this cat seemed to love him. It weaved its body around his legs and meowed for attention. _Alex didn't tell me she had a cat._

Seth took a moment to be creepy and looked around her room. The polaroids on the wall were of various buildings and blond girls drinking coffee and Fireball. His eyes narrowed. He didn't like the idea of Alex drinking and getting into trouble. Shaking his head, he moved to the bookshelf. Alex wasn't lying when she said she had a thing about legends. There were several books on Greek, Egyptian, and Roman mythology. There were books on Nordica and Celtic Wicca, whatever that was. There were books about the Zodiac Killer and astrology and yes, there they were, the books on Quileute legends. And every Harry Potter book. There were a lot of things about her Seth didn't understand, but Seth had a feeling that's because he was out of touch with normalcy. He spent so much time with his pack, doing things most people didn't even think were possible. Alex thought her life wasn't normal, but Seth disagreed. She was a teenager, and she had issues that had nothing to do with the supernatural. In his opinion, that's exactly what normal meant. His heart panged. Normal was what she needed, so normal is what Seth would be. But how long could he keep up the facade? Vampires were everywhere, her scent was appealing, and she had already seen him as a wolf. It was only a matter of time before something pissed him or Embry or Leah or anyone off enough to accidentally phase in front of her. He had a sinking feeling he couldn't keep this secret much longer, and he was _terrified_ of what it would do to Alex.

Before he left, Seth looked at the sleeping girl once more, and he felt peace, looking at her soft features. "Goodbye, Lex," he whispered, and he could have sworn he saw her smile.

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 **hi short chapter whats good tell me what u like better seth or alex? is this moving too fast? whats ur fave song? alex's fave song is deepthroat by cupcakke but tha'ts like rated m+**


	11. eleven (alex)

**hi this is the chapter where things get good lov u thanks** sm **for reviewing y'all it makes me so happy**

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"Hey, Kim, I swear to god, if you move one more time I'm going to draw a penis on your eye."

The girl in question let out a heavy sigh and stopped fidgeting under my touch. She had some sort of _fancy_ dinner date with Jared and she was _begging_ me to do her makeup. ' _Can you give me like a romantic, red look?'_ I agreed, but only because it would get me out of the house. I had been spending a lot of time there, in my room with my now normal cat, because Seth hadn't talked to me in four days. Not a text, phone call, or knock on my door. No, Seth Clearwater was avoiding me. And the worst part was, I knew why; he had seen my scars. It was stupid of me to take off my jacket just so I could be physically closer to him but I was on a fever high. And now he knew. Fuck, he must have thought I was some sort of psycho. Just like that, Seth was out of my life. Every day we were apart my heart hurt, and I missed him more than words could describe. My closest friend and he was already gone, just when I thought things were going where I wanted them.

"How do you do this every day?" she questioned as I drew a straight line off her eyelid. "Everyone makes fun of me because they think I'm the girly one but _fuck_ I don't have the patience to do this." I chuckled, capping off the eyeliner and switching it out for eyebrow gel. "How did you even teach yourself how to do this?"

Her eyebrows were already full, I just gave them more shape, filling out her face. "When I was a little girl, I kinda got bullied for having gay dads. And criticized. Bullied by kids, criticized by adults. They told me I would end up too boyish because I didn't have a motherly figure. So I just threw myself into traditional feminine things like makeup and dresses and princesses. Some of them stuck, some of them didn't. I have like, three hundred eyeshadow palettes but no dresses. I've been doing makeup since I was like, seven maybe. It got better when I moved from toy makeup to the real thing around age thirteen." I dug out a wine red lipstick. "This is going to stay on _no matter what._ Okay? I mean it. Eating, kissing, whatever kissing leads to."

Kim rolled her eyes, which look like a perfectly blended sunrise thanks to me. "Shut up, Lex." My heart dropped at Seth's nickname for me. "I never really asked about that. So one dad is your biological one?" she paused. "Is it okay for me to ask?"

"I don't care just shush so I can paint your lips." She complied. "My Baba and mother immigrated here during the Lebanese Civil War in the eighties pretending to be lovers. Baba met my dad in New York City where they were both working. Dad won't tell me as what do I assume he was a stripper. They fell in love and got 'married' in 1990 to celebrate the end of the war. But technically gay marriage was still illegal, they just kind of signed a fake contact. Anyways, Dad and Baba paid my mom _a lot_ of money to carry me before she went back to Lebanon. I was born, she disappeared, I never met her. We moved to California when I was one."

Her makeup was done, and she looked _hot._ "So you don't have any family besides your dads?"

"Nope," I said quickly? unbothered. It didn't matter to me. "My dads are enough. I love them very much and I don't need anyone else to be apart of my family. Besides, Dad's parents were homophobes. Now, look at my masterpiece."

Kim turned to look in the mirror in her room and smiled brightly. "Wow! Alex this is amazing. Shit, I look hot as fuck." She twirled a strand of her straight hair in her hand. "Alex, because of you, I'm gonna get laid tonight."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, you would have gotten laid anyway. Jared can't keep his giant man-hands off of you." It was true. She had on a black, spaghetti strapped dress that hugged her hips and flowed in the right places. "You do look hot though. You're welcome."

Kim twirled around before putting on a pair of small black heels, giggling. "How's Seth?" she asked. The question was innocent enough but there was a tone in her voice that suggested she knew I hadn't been talking to Seth.

I sighed, plopping down on her bed. "He hasn't talked to me in _days,_ Kim. He's completely avoiding me, and I have no idea why." _Lie._ "What's worse is I texted him like, a _million_ times and he hasn't responded once. I _never_ text first, Kim." She took a seat next to me and placed her hand on my knee. "I really like him. And I don't mean 'like' him like he's a good friend. I mean I _like_ him and want to do stupid things, like hold his hand and, I dunno, stuff like that."

There was a stupid smile on Kim's face that was inappropriate for the situation. "Alex, you want to _date_ Seth. That's the word you're looking for. You, Alex Manson-Assaf want to date Seth Clearwater, and you want him to be your boyfriend. You want Seth Clearwater to be your boyfriend. You, Alex-"

"Okay, Kim! I think we got it!" I groaned, falling back on her bed. "That is the situation, yes. Just maybe not as intense as you made it seem. The _problem_ is that Seth Clearwater wants nothing to do with me, Alex Manson-Assaf." I groaned loudly and for a long time, hoping it would make me feel better. It didn't.

Kim threw a pillow at me. "Oh, stop being so over dramatic, Alex. Seth likes you. I'm not sure how you haven't figured it out yet. Literally, _everyone_ can see that you two are into each other. Jared says you're basically all he talks about, and I know for a fact Seth's basically all you talk about because when you're not with him, you're with me. And when we're together, Seth is usually the topic of conversation. The sooner the both of you come clean about it, the better it will be."

"Well, I'd love to tell him how I feel," another lie, "but I can't. I'm not sure if you remembered this little detail, but Seth is avoiding me." I stood and looked down at Kim with a soft smile. She really did look beautiful. "Listen, the ball is in his court right now, and there's nothing more I can do. When he wants to talk to me, he will, and then I'll come clean. Until then," I picked up my makeup bag and slung it over my shoulder, "have fun at your date, and don't get pregnant."

She smiled back at me. "Be safe."

I had walked over to Kim's house when it was light out, but since then the sun had completely set and it was dark as could be. I didn't have the car, as my parents had gone to Seattle for some sort of work party, but took two cars because they both left from work and arrived at different times. Also, I just enjoyed walking at night. I was hoping, every time I stepped outside after dark, that I would see my wolfy friend. But when Seth disappeared, so did my Nugget. I plugged my phone into my headphones and played some loud rock music, blocking out any sounds.

It was nice to be alone. I had my own thoughts and there was nothing to interrupt them. It was prime time for creativity and self-reflection. It was nice to be alone, but it was nicer to be with Seth. How could I have any semblance of self-reflection when all of my thoughts were on the boy with dark eyes and a big smile. Seth was everything I had ever wanted: he was nice, considerate, and a Cancer. Everyone knows that Cancers and Scorpios are most compatible. Despite my fear of men, which caused me to clench tightly onto my knife in my sweatshirt front pocket, I couldn't help but let Seth in immediately. There was something that kept bringing me back to him, and I always thought he felt it too.

Until he stopped answering my calls.

I knew it was my scars. There was no other explanation. I had gone through my last interaction with him hundreds of times, trying to pick out some tiny detail that would provide me an answer. Sure, I was throwing up, but he would hold my hair back and insisted on taking care of me, telling me it was no issue. He smiled at me and he put his arm around me and I saw the look in his eyes. He cared about me. I didn't doubt it for a second. I was barely conscious when he took me in his arms and carried me to my room. Seth was so careful with me, the way you're careful with your favorite toy as a child like he didn't want to break me. The last time I saw him, he walked out of my room with a smile on his face.

If he left because of my scars, he did a great job of pretending he never saw them in the first place.

I knew all this mindless contemplation wasn't good for me. I knew that if I kept going I would drive myself insane, but I was living off of every memory of Seth I had, completely aware of how pathetic this boy made me. _Fuck,_ before Seth I didn't need anyone but my parents and blink 182, and now I was so dependent on Seth for happiness I felt like I had lost a part of my independence. My mind was telling me to get over it while my heart and every other cell in my body was telling me to get close to Seth before they exploded. It was a modern tragedy. My deep affections for Seth caused me to lose every aspect of who I thought I was and what was familiar. I was used to snarky smiles and deception and wariness. I hadn't given my heart to anyone since it was first stolen from me, but now I had practically gift wrapped it for Seth. And where was he?

During my inner monolog, I stopped paying attention to where I was stepping and managed to fall on the gravel road. " _Fuck,"_ I whispered under my breath as I landed on my hands and knees, scraping them up. At least my jeans were already ripped. I stood and brushed the loose gravel off of me, ignoring the small amount of blood that was dripping down my leg and pooling on my left hand. Great.

For the rest of my walk, I was determined to push Seth from my head and instead thought about how I was going to have to show up at therapy again soon. Dr. Cullen and I hadn't exactly left off on the best of terms, but I promised my fathers I would try. Swallowing my pride and showing up at that office would not be easy, but I would rather be humiliated than break that promise. It was something that would be easier if I could tell Seth about it and _fuck._ I couldn't push him out. So, someone else did it for me.

In the next few seconds, everything happened so quickly that I barely had enough time to process it all. My spine arched in, and I knew in an instant I wasn't alone. I whipped around and pulled out my knife, but no one was there. For a moment, I stood still in silence, ready to attack. But there was _no one_ there. After a few seconds, I decided to get on with it and turn around. _Then_ there was someone there.

It was a woman, so I had less to fear, but I still could not shake the feeling that something was wrong. Her blond hair was long and pin straight, her skin pale, without any trace of color. And most _shockingly,_ her eyes were red, violent red. She was dressed in an _absurd_ getup, a long white dress that matched her devilish eyes with no shoes. Worst of all, there was a shit ton, no _fuck ton_ of blood on the front of her dress. Either something terrible had just happened to this woman, or something terrible was about to happen to me.

She tilted her head at me, curiously. "Funny," she whispered, taking a step closer to me, and I launched backward, "you smell like a wet dog, but you're not one of them." Her eyes darted down to my exposed knees. "You're coated in their smell, but on the inside, you're not one of them. You don't have their blood." A sickening smile crept on her face. "You're one of their... _pets."_

My mouth felt dry. "I have _no fucking idea_ what you're talking about, but you're creeping me out. I'm not anyone's _pet._ Do you need help or something? Do you want me to call 911?"

Her eyes kept flicking all over my body like I was some sort of _meal._ Fuck, was this bitch a cannibal? Was I in some weird Jennifer's Body shit? "You're all alone," she said in a sing-song voice, and moved towards me in a speed I was convinced was _not_ humanly possible. Her hand rested on my cheek. Her _ice cold_ hand that could _not_ have been human. "All alone..." she trailed off, moving her face closer to mine.

Somehow, I knew I was about to die.

Her lips parted slightly, and she moved like she was going to kiss my neck when a noise came from the woods. Her head snapped in that direction and she smiled that terrible smile once more. Tears fell down my face. I didn't want to die, not anymore. If this was some sort of punishment for when I was sixteen, I just wanted it to be over with. "Well, well, well," she mused in a sugary-sweet voice. "Look what we have here. Look, darling," she used her grip on my face to turn my head. It was fucking Nugget. "I suppose maybe he's your pet."

Violently, she released me and threw me to the ground. Jesus, she was strong. My ankle throbbed in pain, and I knew it was broken. The wolf let out a low growl and snarled as he stepped towards the woman, and I finally understood how someone could be afraid of him. "Come to play, doggy," she giggled, and he lunged at her, snapping his teeth at her neck.

I couldn't watch. There was an awful dread in my stomach and I was convinced this was some sort of torture. I crawled towards the edge of the road and curled up in the ball, in too much pain to run. My eyes were squeezed shut, but I could still hear the noises. The woman's grunting, the wolf's growling, and occasional whimpers. It was too much, but when I tried to cover my ears it did nothing. I could hear everything, and it ended was a cracking.

There was nothing. No sounds, no voices, but I still couldn't move. I was convinced I had gone into some sort of shock, as I stayed curled up in a ball. It was only a few minutes before I felt warm hands on my back. "Don't touch me!" I screeched, throwing fists at whoever was there.

"Hey, hey, hey. Lex, it's me." I froze. "Lex, it's me. It's Seth. You're okay; you're safe." I looked up to see Seth bent over me with a concerned expression. It was him.

In that moment, I didn't care that Seth had been ignoring me. I didn't care about my ankle or the fact that I almost got eaten or something. All I saw was Seth. I leaped up into his arms, hugging him with everything I had. "Oh my god, Seth," I sobbed into his chest, and he snaked his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. "Seth we have to get out of here. Please get me out of here."

He pulled away slightly and looked down at me, examining every inch of me. "Okay," he agreed and swiftly lifted me into his arms. "I'm gonna bring you to a friend, okay?" Seth said as he started running back towards his house. "He's a doctor and he can fix your ankle. You're gonna be okay, Lex. I swear it."

We didn't talk while Seth ran. I just pressed my head against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat, breathing in his scent. Fuck, I missed him so much. I breathed in his scent, wanting to take in every aspect of him. Tears were still running down my faces as flashes of what just happened ran through my brain.

We arrived at Seth's house in record time. I didn't care that it seemed impossible to run that distance that quickly. At this point, I didn't want to question anything. Seth put me in the passenger seat in his truck and ran around to the driver's seat. Whenever we were in the car together, Seth drove carefully. But tonight, he sped out of the driveway and almost floored it down the road, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white. "Alex, love, I am so sorry. I can't even believe this happened. Fuck!" he yelled, slamming his hands against the wheel briefly. I jumped, startled. "Alex, will you ever be able to forgive me?"

I was lost. "Seth you didn't do anything. You helped me, you didn't do anything wrong."

He shook his head. "No, no Alex you don't understand. I let that leech get past. I was distracted. I was distracted and it almost got you killed. Fuck, Alex if anything happened to you..." he trailed off, his voice sounding pained. "If something happened to you because of me, I just don't know what I'd do."

I had so many questions I didn't even know where to start, and I didn't have the energy to. "Seth, I'm so confused."

"I'll explain everything to you after we get your ankle fixed. I promise Alex. No more secrets."

I stared at Seth for a while. He was tense, every muscle in his body was shaking. I unbuckled, and slide over to him and leaning into his body. I placed my hand on his knee, and he physically calmed at my touch. "Okay."

We arrived at a large house in the middle of the woods, and I had a sinking feeling of familiarity at how glass the house was but ignored it. Seth ran around and lifted me out of the truck again, and wouldn't put me down. Instead, he ran me up to the front door. Before he could knock, someone opened the door. He was pale, like her, but his eyes were the same shade as Dr. Cullen's. "Seth, come in."

He did as told, and rushed up the stairs. I was confused and anxious to the point where I could do nothing but keep my mouth shut. There were several people standing around up the stairs, and they all looked the same. Chalky pale skin, bright hazel eyes, and unrealistic beauty. Seth set me down on a couch as the man from downstairs joined us. "Alex, these are the Cullens." My heart sunk. Oh fuck, was she here? "Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper." Seth had a thing for introducing me to large crowds. He turned to the one I believed to be named Edward. "Where is he?" he asked in a rushed voice.

"Coming," was Edward's brief reply. Seth nodded and sat by my side.

I sat there, feeling ridiculously uncomfortable. I was in a room filled with human perfection, and they all stood there, motionless and staring. "Jasper," said a short-haired fairy-looking girl, "do you want to come cook dinner with me?" I wasn't stupid. I knew she was trying to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

"Sure," he answered. "Rose, Emmett, you have to help, too." They all left the room with graceful steps, each shooting me a sympathetic look while Seth sat next to me, staring at the floor as if he was trying to burn a hole in it.

I didn't remember the Cullen's faces or names. This was, in large part, due to the fact that to me, they all looked the same. Like statues. Ice cold statues with different colored hair. A shiver went down my spine. They all had uncanny similarities to the woman in the white dress. The white dress covered in blood. As if he could sense my discomfort, Seth reached over and grabbed my hand. I relaxed at the touch.

After another minute or two, a pale haired man came bounding up the stairs, a familiar face behind him. I pretended not to notice her as Seth stood, addressing the man. "Another one broke through our defenses and found Alex. Everything is taken care of but I think she broke her ankle."

While the two of them talked, Dr. Cullen stared at me, and I avoided eye contact. "I used to break my bones a lot."

I looked up to see another perfect woman with soft brown hair and those stupid eyes. "Yeah that's a thing that happens sometimes," I agreed, not wanting to get into a friendly conversation at the moment. I felt like a child being brought to the doctor's office.

She either didn't get the message or got the message and didn't care because she sat down right next to me. "So, Alex, I've heard a lot about you. Seth talks about you all the time," she said with a smile. "I'm Bella, by the way. I know it must be hard to remember all the names at once." I nodded, not wanting to continue this conversation any further. "It'll be okay."

"Thank you," I whispered, keeping my arms crossed over my chest. At last, she stood up and grabbed Edward's arm, pulling him out of the room.

The blond man appeared in front of me once again. "Hello, Alex. My name is Carlisle. Do you mind if I take a look at your ankle?" I nodded, and he, gently as he could, pulled my sneaker off. I winced at the pain. My ankle was insanely swollen, and Carlisle pressed his fingers softly against my skin. My breath hitched. They were as cold as hers. "I'm going to give you a boot, but I recommend going to get an X-ray when you can. It's at least sprained." He stood and turned to Seth. "Make sure you get her home safe."

I turned to look at the boy next to me. His face was twisted in pain as he stared down at my foot, but gave a curt nod nonetheless. "Seth," I whispered, and he looked down at me with a heartbreaking expression. I placed my hand in his cheek. "It's okay."

He covered my hand with his own and leaned into the small embrace, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "It's okay."

I left the Cullen's house with a boot on my ankle, in Seth's arms, and without any acknowledgments to Dr. Cullen, so I considered it as successful as it could have been. Seth drove back to my house slower than he did on the way to the Cullen's. He wasn't angry anymore, he was nervous. There was something big he was going to tell me. Something he had been avoiding.

When we pulled up to my house, I got out on my own and wobbled a little. Before I could fall, Seth was at my side, holding on to me. "Thanks," I said. "I want to walk." He nodded, but still put his arm under mine and helped me walk to up to my front door.

"Alex, can you do me a favor? I need you to go inside, clean up your cuts, and meet me in your backyard. Can you do that?" I nodded, and he placed a small kiss on my forehead. My heart fluttered, not knowing it wasn't the time for feelings like that. "Thank you."

I watched Seth run off to the woods before I went inside. Quickly as I could, I ran my hands under water to wash up the dried blood and wiped off my knees before slapping a band-aid on. I didn't care about it at all. I just wanted to see what was bothering Seth. I had never seen him act like this before, and it gave me a bad feeling.

I stepped out my back door and there he was, standing in front of me, shirtless. The pained expression never left his face. "Seth, you gotta tell me what's going on. I need answers here. I have no idea what happened back there."

Nodding, Seth ran a hand through his hair. "Okay. Okay, Alex. I can tell you. It's okay," he sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "Alex. Alex, Alex, Alex. There's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna go right out and say it. I'm a werewolf."

I narrowed my eyes. "Is this like a joke or something? Is that like, your _fursona_? Are you trying to come out as a furry to me right now? Because if you are, that's not funny."

Panic did not look good on Seth as he scrambled to come up with something. "No, I'm not a furry. I-I don't even know what that is! Alex, you've seen me. As a wolf, you have. I'll prove it to you, okay? Just, promise me you'll stay right here?"

"I promise," I said. This had to be going somewhere. There was no way in fucking hell Seth was a werewolf, and I was halfway convinced he was insane. He ran off for the woods, and I expected him to come out in a full fursuit. But instead, something else came out. " _Nugget?_ " I whispered as my giant wolf friend stepped out of the forest just seconds after Seth disappeared in there. "No way." I wobbled closer to him. "No way."

He had Seth's eyes.

It was if my legs stopped working because I fell to the ground. Gravity was weighing down on me. Nugget or Seth or whatever ran into the woods, and he came back as Seth, in all his shirtless glory. He dropped to the ground next to me. "Alex, are you okay?"

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I poured all my secrets into that giant wolf, secrets about my health, about my parents, my feelings towards Seth himself, and it turned out to be the gangly boy the whole time. The feeling in my stomach was a white hot betrayal. "I need you to leave," I whispered.

His eyes widened. "Alex, no. There's so much more I need to tell you. You need to know everything and-"

"I'm not sure if I want to hear it."

The words felt like cotton balls falling out of my mouth, and Seth looked physically hurt by them. He stood, and fell back. "O-okay. Okay, Alex. I'll leave. But you need to know, I'll be here the second you call me. Whenever you need me, I'll be there." I looked into his eyes. "You're my world now, Lex." With that, he turned to run into the woods. Like that, he was gone again.

I sat there on the grass in my backyard. I sat there, frozen until I heard a gut-wrenching howl. Then I broke into sobs.

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 **wild'n. tell me what u think or i'll leave it on this chapter forEVER lmao lov y'all**


	12. twelve (alex)

**i could have updated last night but i decided to sleep ok so after some contemplation i decided to make this another alex chapter so enjoy that also i won't be updating between wednesday july 26 and sunday july 30th _at least_ because im going away and i'll be drunk 50% of those days and y'all don't want me to drunk update lol lov u thanks sm for the responses **

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My hands were shaking as I sat in my car, taking deep breaths, trying to ignore every ounce of me that told me to go home. It had been a hellish week, and I _was not_ ready for another encounter. My eyes flicked up to the building in front of me and I inhaled sharply. I _knew_ Dr. Cullen had answers, and I was determined to get them from her. There was no one else I wanted to talk to at the moment, and I barely wanted to talk to her. In fact, I had canceled our meeting last week with some lame excuse just to put it off. But the past week had been torture, and I was tired of living in the dark.

Still trembling, I hopped out of the driver's seat, stumbling when I hit the pavement. The stupid boot was still on my ankle, and it was confirmed broken. I limped over to the building, cursing _him._ I was still, after all these days, unbelievably furious at Seth Clearwater. After a significant amount of contemplation, I decided that it was completely justified for me to be this angry. He kept a secret from me that put me in danger, and he _betrayed_ my trust. My trust was a valuable thing, and he used his _werewolf_ personality to listen to me vent. Vent about _him_ and my problems and _fuck_ Seth listened to me talk about _Seth._

But I knew Dr. Cullen had answers because if her husband knew what Seth was talking about, she did too. There was something _off_ about her family. They were all too _perfect._ There was _no way_ any of them were actually related, but they were so _alike_ in a way that meant they were connected. Memories of the red-eyed woman flashed through my head. They had something in common with her too. They weren't human, there was no doubt in my mind that much was true. But they weren't like Seth. Seth was warm and soft and _alive._ The Cullens were cold and hard and moved like statues that had just come to life. No, they weren't like Seth. They weren't _werewolves._

Normally, I made a point about standing while I waited for Dr. Cullen to show my absolute discontent for being there, but my ankle hurt and my muscles throbbed with exhaustion. I collapsed into a hard chair, thinking about that word. _Werewolf, werewolf, werewolf._ It just sounded so... _stupid._ I couldn't make any sense of it. I had read through the Quileute legends literally _hundreds_ of times since Seth told me the truth, and I knew every aspect of them. I could recite the stories in my sleep, but I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they were the truth, not in the world I lived in.

Dr. Cullen opened the door and looked down at me with a surprised expression. "Alex, I wasn't sure if you were going to show up today," she said, and her voice made me sick. The bell-like sound brought me back to the woman with the red eyes, and I did not want to be there.

Abruptly, I stood. "Well, I'm here, and I'm ready to talk," I said, and wobbled my way past her. She tried to help me walk, but I was afraid of what her skin would feel like. _Fuck_ I knew what it would feel like: ice cold and hard. I just didn't want it to be true. I brushed her hand away and stumbled to the end of the hall. For once, I was happy to see that stupid ass bean bag chair. I collapsed into it, and she slowly sat in her chair. "I know you know what he is," I said before she could ask some question about my mental health. "And I know you're not human. Not like him, but not human."

She pursed her lips and folded her hands across the desk, and I fully examined her. No human could have a posture that straight, or breathe that evenly and that _slowly._ "Alex," she started off carefully and then shook her head. "Alex, the world is not what you think it is, no. But it's also important for you to remember that you're in no danger at all, not so long as you-"

" _No danger?"_ I challenged, raising my eyebrows at her. "Listen, I don't know why you're trying to throw that bullshit at me, considering one of _your kind,_ whatever the fuck that is, _broke my fucking ankle_ and almost _ate_ me or something. I'm not sure what you considered _safe_ but I don't think that fits under the qualifications, Dr. Cullen."

"You might as well call me Esmee now, and you interrupted," she scolded me as if I were a child. "What I was going to say is, you're not going to be in any trouble as long as you stay around _Seth_. He can protect you, Alex. It's his _duty_ to protect you. I promise you." She spoke with such sincerity I was almost inclined to believe her, but I had lost all sense of trust for _anyone_ in this town. She sighed. "Alex, these aren't things I'm at liberty to explain to you. You need to talk to him."

I scoffed. "I may not know what you are, but I'm fairly certain Seth has ripped your kind apart. I put the pieces together when he took care of the blond one that tried to kill me. And if he can do that to you, whatever you are, imagine what he can do to me. I'm not going to get hurt again." The word _again_ made her eyebrow shoot up as if this was a major discovery in our doctor/patient relationship. "Why did he have to drag me into this anyways? I know you know, so don't try to claim ignorance."

She put her hands up. "I cannot say I don't know because I do. Alex, it's true, I have all the answers you could need, but I'm not the one you should be hearing them from. And I know that's the only reason you came today. But, if you decide to talk to Seth, and ask _him_ the questions he should be answering, you can come back next week, and we'll discuss this _situation."_

I felt defeated, and my shoulders slumped. I was just as determined to avoid Seth as I was to get answers. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object; my stubbornness meets my stubbornness. "You know," I started, taking a deep breath before I continued, "I really liked the kid. I wanted to, I dunno, _date_ him if that's what the kids call it. I really like him, and the things he brought to my life: happiness, laughter, _normalcy_. After everything I went through in California, I just wanted something simple, something right. I thought that was Seth. And when I found out the truth, I wanted nothing more than to get rid of him."

"Then why are you looking for answers?"

Why _was_ I looking for answers? It would have, theoretically, been easier to cut Seth out of my life, make new friends and pretend he didn't turn into a giant wolf in his free time. But I couldn't. "It... _hurts_ to be away from him," I whispered, looking down at the floor, slightly ashamed of my feelings. "Like, physically. There's something _pulling_ me back to him, even though I don't want it. I don't want a crazy life filled with... _werewolf_ secrets and _whatever the hell_ you are, no offense. I want to go on cute dates and complain about school and do stupid, stereotypical things like that. I _don't want_ a werewolf boyfriend."

"But you want Seth." A statement, not a question. It was fact. "Alex, _talk_ to him. Give him a chance to explain everything to you. There's no need to deny yourself happiness because you're afraid of the unknown. Give him a chance. Seth is a good kid, and he deserves to be happy. And you do too."

Nodding, I pushed the tears out of my eyes, pretending they weren't there. "Well, this meeting was too productive for my liking. And I've determined that you're a witch. An _evil_ witch that manipulates the emotions of innocent nutcases. I would never have felt any of this otherwise."

"I know you have emotions, Alex," she said with a chuckle, "but your deflection is a sign that I've gotten cut off. I'll see you next Wednesday, Alex, and I'm hoping you'll have talked to him by then."

"Yeah, yeah okay. Now release your hold on me, witch."

I stumbled out of her office and thought about what she said. It couldn't hurt to just _talk_ to Seth. At least, not as much as _ignoring_ him hurt. For a brief moment, I thought about the silence on his end. Seth hadn't talked to me a bit because I _told_ him not to. The last words he said to me rung in my head. _You're my world now, Lex._ The way he said it was so _intense_ like he knew something about me I didn't. Despite his mistakes, he was still my closest friend, and _holy fuck_ I missed him. It wasn't a _nice_ kind of miss. It wasn't the kind of feeling you got when you missed your best friend after a few days of not seeing them. It wasn't a soft, dull sadness that was tolerable. No, this type of miss was an intense, stabbing pain that filled my lungs and put a hole in my heart. _And_ I was still pissed at him.

Carefully, I climbed into my car and rested my head against the wheel. "Wow, now _you're_ the one who looks like shit."

I jumped in the air at the sound of that voice and almost screamed, but a dark hand covered my mouth before I could. "Jesus _Christ,_ Lex, it's just me," Embry said, rolling his eyes. I ripped his hand off my mouth. "You seem on edge. Did Doc Cullen put you on some pills?"

Anger flooded my system once more. "What _the fuck_ are you doing in my truck?" I snarled at the boy. In the week I had been ignoring Seth, I also ignored Embry, Kim, and everyone else associated with Seth. They were all in this together, I knew it.

Embry rolled his eyes and slouched back into my truck, going through my CD collection once more. "Well, you told Seth to leave you alone, and he's so unbelievably whipped in ways you can't even imagine he'll do whatever you say." He turned to look at me with a hint of resentment in his eyes. "Even though staying away from you is causing him _excruciating_ pain. Anyways, I am not, and I don't have to listen to you. So, I'm here to talk some sense into you," he said, buckling his seatbelt. "Drive. I promise I won't jump out this time."

"No," I said quietly, glaring at Embry. " _No._ I will not drive and I will _not_ listen to whatever you're going to say. I _know_ you're one of them. And _f_ _uck_ don't make me out to be the bad guy here! He kept this huge, absolutely _terrifying_ secret from me and then _betrayed_ my trust! Or maybe you didn't know-"

"Oh, I know," Embry cut me off, grinning. "We have this sort of _wolf telepathy_ type thing. We can hear each other's thoughts. Only in wolf form though. It's kinda cool. So, I know everything Seth knows."

My heart sunk to my stomach. "You know everything Seth knows," I repeated in a monotone voice.

Embry _dared_ to roll his eyes at me again like he was dealing with some sort of incompetent child. "Don't worry, Seth guarded your secrets pretty well. He buried them so far back in his mind and covered them up with some other dumb ass thought about how _amazing_ you are. And you know why? Because he would do _anything_ for you. He would do _anything_ for you and you're sitting here in the parking lot of some _leech's_ place, trying to make him out to be some sort of villain. All he ever did was care about you, Lex."

"He _lied-"_

"He didn't tell you because he thought it would be _better_ for you. You how many times he came whining to me about how he couldn't tell you because he wanted your life to be _normal?_ Alex, it was so fucking annoying. And it's even _more_ annoying now. All he does is complain about how much he misses you. Seth is a fucking _mess,_ Alex."

I shook my head. This was too much for me to comprehend, and I didn't know what to think. My natural human reaction was to scream and run away but for some reason, I just _couldn't._ "Why did he stick around then? If he wanted me to have a normal life why didn't he leave me alone?" _This_ was the part I couldn't figure out. The _bond._ Well, one of the parts.

"You're gonna have to talk to Seth about that one," he said. "And I will _not_ leave you alone until you talk to him. That's a promise."

"Whatever," I grumbled, shifting the car into reverse. "Where do you want me to go?"

Embry Call was the most annoying, instructive, and bizarre friend I had ever had, and I hated him with every fiber of my being. That being said, I was slightly grateful for him as he directed me all over the map. For the first time in a week, Embry gave me answers. Well, _some_ answers. " _Vampires?"_ I questioned, nearly choking on my spit as I drove down an empty, paved road.

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled. "We're not like the werewolves in Harry Potter, Lex. It's our job to protect our tribe, and every human we can. And we protect you all from vampires. Evil, blood sucking vampires that kill innocent people. That bitch that tried to get you last week? Yeah, she was a leech. You would have _died_ from that bitch sucking out all of your blood if it weren't for _Seth."_

I ignored the last part, my mind still somehow wrapping around the fact that _holy shit_ not only were their motherfucking _werewolves_ but dumbass, murderous _vampires_ too. "So, the Cullen's are vampires too right?" Embry nodded. "Okay, so what the fuck? Why haven't y'all gone in there and ripped their heads off? _Why_ do you let me see mama vamp every week? Because I know y'all know I do."

"The Cullen's are...different. They don't drink human blood, but animal blood. They came here in the 1930s for the first time and made a treaty with the tribe at the time. Our grandparents, actually. So we can't touch them so long as they live by the treaty." He paused. "Things have... _changed_ recently, but it's still fundamentally the same."

"Wait just a _fucking minute._ Did you say the _nineteen fucking thirties?"_

Embry laughed. "Oh yeah, vampires are like, immortal. Like, really immortal. So they haven't aged a bit since they turned. Creepy, kinda. We don't age either. Technically. We don't age until stop phasing."

"How old, exactly, was Seth was he first phased?" I questioned cautiously.

"Fourteen."

I _slammed_ on the breaks.

"He's _what?"_

 _"Fuck_ Alex, can you relax?" Embry shouted. "Seth is _still_ older than you. He has been on this earth _nineteen_ _years._ He _graduated_ high school, which I believe you're still in. Does he _look_ fourteen to you, Alex? Does he _really?"_

I stumbled over my thoughts. "But...if...how?"

"Seth may have phased when he was younger, but he's not frozen at age fourteen. He grows and matures. He's just not gonna be _physically_ worn out from turning into a _fucking wolf_ by the time he's twenty-five. Basically, he's ageless. Well preserved. We all are. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"Don't talk to me like that," I warned, but started driving again. "So why would he ever stop _phasing_ or whatever it is you call it? Why not be giant wolves forever?"

"Take a left up there," he directed. "And that's another question you'll have to ask Seth."

I took the left turn, which took me up a giant hill. "Embry, you better be taking me somewhere really fucking important, because this is gonna fuck up my Jeep," I complained, pressing down slightly on the accelerator. "Earlier, you said the treaty changed. What about it changed?" I wanted him to change the subject away from Seth. I didn't want to think about Seth, and I was still confused over his _exact_ age, but I would settle for nineteen. Nineteen sounded good. I liked older men.

"Ah, the treaty. This is some story, Lex. So, the original treaty back in the thirties stated that no Cullen could come onto Quileute territory, first of all. Second, they weren't allowed to change their diet and kill a human, any human. If they did, the treaty would be void. Along with that, they weren't allowed to bite any human, which would turn them into a vamp. So all was well and good and then the Cullen's left and came back a few years ago. When they did, this dude Edward, you met him, fell in love with Bella." I remembered her. I remembered her telling me how she used to break her bones as if that was comforting in any way. "Well, when they met Bella was human. It caused a whole lot of bullshit. Jacob was friends with Bella, and he fell in love with her. Big love-triangle drama, really annoying. I hated dealing with it. And _then_ Bella and Edward got married and Bella got _pregnant_ with some sort of hybrid baby."

" _What?"_

"Yeah it was really weird and no one knew what the fuck would happen. So Sam, the alpha of the pack, was like ' _we're gonna kill Bella and her creepy baby'_ and Jacob, who, keep in mind, was supposed to be alpha but gave it up to Sam, was like, _'fuck you I'm gonna start my own pack.'_ So he did, and Seth was the first one to follow him because your boy knows what's right. And then Leah, and then me and Quil came over too. Anyways, Bella gave birth to a bouncing baby girl named Renesmee."

"That's an ugly name."

"I know, but don't let Jacob hear you say that. Anyways, Sam's pack came over because they were gonna kill the baby, but Jacob imprinted on her so they couldn't. And then Bella became a vampire. Anyways, it was just this huge wild ride that was really awful to live through and _fuck_ dude, it was so annoying to hear about all these problems."

I paused, taking in all that information. It was the most ridiculous story I had ever heard in my entire life. "What the fuck is imprinting?"

Embry sighed and was quiet for a bit as if he was trying to figure out whether or not he should answer. "Imprinting is like...meeting your other half. When you look into her eyes, you instantly know that your purpose in life is to protect her, to be whatever she needs. You would be whatever you need her to be. So like, Jake imprinted on a baby, so he took on a brotherly role for her. He'll keep phasing and then when she's old enough, maybe they'll become more Jared imprinted on Kim, and they're probably going to get married soon. It's kind of like meeting your soul mate."

"Your...soul mate?" I repeated. Embry didn't respond, and I could tell this conversation was over. He didn't have anything else to say about this topic, and my stomach curled in knots. It sounded familiar, but I didn't want to assume. "Embry, where the fuck are you taking me?"

"Oh," he said, sitting up, "nowhere. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't run away." He gave me a large grin, as I hit his bicep. "It worked."


	13. thirteen (seth)

**haven't slept in a LONG time lol this may be my last update for 4-5 days just a reminder love u**

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Seth was amazed at how quickly his life could fall apart.

He knew he fucked up when he went four days without her, but alpha's orders were law and he had to do his job. Canada was lovely this time of year, and perhaps if it wasn't flooded with leeches he would have loved to spend more time there. And when he got back, he slept for what seemed like days, dreaming of brown eyes and a crinkled nose. And when he woke up, his nightmare began. What should have been a normal patrol turned into Seth frantically running, trying to catch the vamp he let slip past. He was tired and imagining her smile. All it took was a second of distraction to ruin everything. Now she was hurt, alone, and hating him.

She had told Seth to leave her alone, but there was no way he would be able to up and leave her, not without ensuring her safety. No, Seth didn't sleep in his room anymore. He made do with a pile of leaves outside of her house, ready to leap awake at any sign of danger. Even sleeping felt like a crime. He wasn't keeping tabs on her, just making sure she was left alone. Not once did Seth text her, or knock on her door. She made it very clear she wanted nothing more to do with him, and in a strange way, he understood. What she wanted was normalcy; she had said it time and time again, and yet Seth still stood in front of her and dared to tell her he what he was.

In the past week, Seth had _relaxed_ his normal routine, as he put it. Or, as his mother put it, stopped eating a healthy amount. But in all honesty, Seth had lost any semblance of an appetite. Every cell in his body was restless, and every cell _hurt._ Fuck, being away from her was like having his heart ripped out of his body and thrown across the ocean. What _killed_ Seth the most was that his heart wasn't across the ocean, but it was in that room with the light that didn't go out until three in the morning, when her breathing would finally slow. She didn't go on late night walks anymore. If she wanted him to, Seth would climb up her window and pull her into his arms, whispering to her about how he would _always_ protect her, and he would never let anything like that ever happen to her again. But she didn't want that. She didn't want him.

Seth couldn't even think her name. It brought a stabbing pain to his chest.

He so desperately longed to know what she was thinking. He needed to know if there was a part of her, no matter how _small_ that missed him. This imprinting magic that Jared and Sam and everyone else swore their happiness on wasn't really doing it for Seth because the love of his life seemed to have no issue pretending _he_ didn't exist. When Jared told Kim, she ran away screaming, but she came back, and that's exactly what _she wasn't_ doing. Seth wanted to scream. He wanted to kill something and he wanted to rip whatever was making him feel this way out of his chest. Most of all, he just wanted her.

It had been exactly ten days since she told him to leave. Walking away from her was the hardest thing he had ever done, especially when he heard the sobs. But it was what she said she wanted. Seth couldn't stop thinking about it. And he was still _worried_ about those little lines on her arms, and he could only hope, hope with every fiber of his being, that they were still white, and not red. If she had done that because of him, Seth wouldn't be able to live with himself.

The sun was rising, and Seth rose, exhaustion in every single one of his limbs. He barely had the energy to phase back, and he only did so when he was on his own property, on the extremely off-chance she might have seen him in her yard. There would be no more taking chances with her, no more risks. Everything would be normal, and she would be safe. Seth pulled a pair of running shorts over his hips and tried to shake the thought of what normal might have meant for her. A normal life meant dating and love and a husband and kids and the thought of that being _anyone_ but him made the ache in his heart so much worse.

Stumbling through the front door of his house, Seth yawned and struggled to keep his eyes shut. At this time, Leah would be sleeping and his mother would be out with her new husband, Charlie. _Fuck,_ even his mother managed to find a good relationship, and she was _old._ He didn't want to think about what that meant. Instead, Seth collapsed into his bed and shut his eyes. He would sleep until he was needed. That was his life now that his purpose for living shut him out: sleep, patrol, protect. And still, despite the heartbreak and exhaustion, Seth is still blessed he met her. Every moment with her was worth it.

His eyes slipped shut, and he drifted into a peaceful sleep.

It lasted for about twenty minutes before he awoke to an unpleasant, ice cold surprise.

"What the _fuck?"_ he yelled, jumping out of bed, waving his limbs wildly. Seth was now soaking wet in a soaking wet bed and he was wide awake. There were Embry and Leah, looking down at him smugly. "What the hell do you two think you're doing?" he snapped, giving them a glare.

It was Leah who was holding the bucket, and she spoke with a smirk. "It's intervention time, bitch," she barked, throwing the bucket at Seth, who caught it and tossed it on the floor. "We're tired of the bullshit, and we decided we're not letting it happen any longer," Leah spoke with such authority it made Seth resent her. Like _she knew_ what the fuck was going on, the girl who _wished_ she could imprint.

"It's action time, buddy." Embry patted Seth on the back. "So either you grow a pair and talk to Alex, or we hold her hostage and try to feed her to some leeches so you're forced to come to her rescue."

At his words, Seth stood and clenched his fists, stepping up to Embry, shaking. "If you even-"

"Oh my god, Seth, shut up. He was joking," Leah said, placing her hand on Seth's shoulder and pushing him back down on the bed. "It was a _stupid_ joke," she added with a glare at Embry, who shrugged, "but a joke. But, you do have to talk to Alex, because this is getting ridiculous. _Everyone's_ worried, Seth. Not just me and Mom, like e _veryone._ Like, both packs, the Elders, people who used to see you sometimes at the grocery store or something that now ask me where you've gone. _Everyone."_

Seth was in a bad fucking mood at this point. He was tired as hell, and sleeping was the only escape he had from the pain in his chest. When he dreamed, he dreamed of her, and it didn't hurt. But now, they were tossing these words at him as if they had no meaning as if they didn't make him physically recoil. "Yeah, that's a real nice sentiment everyone, but there's one problem, and I'm not sure how you didn't notice by this point, but _she_ wants nothing to do with me."

Embry shrugged. "Actually, dude. That's not necessarily true. I know this because I happen to be one of the greatest people to ever exist, but I talked to Alex yesterday. She misses you, dude. She tried to convince herself to hate you, but it's not working and she ran out of reasons." Leah hit his arm for that statement and Seth's heart beat irregularly. "Whatever. Seth, the chick needs you as much as you need her. I could see it on her, physically. There were bags under her eyes and she looked almost as sad as you every time I say her name. She looked like shit." Embry crossed his arms. "I've never seen two people torture themselves like this. The both of you obviously want to be together, but you're both denying yourselves happiness."

Seth gulped. "She said it's what she wanted."

"Okay well she lied," Leah replied. "We're giving you a few hours to sleep and mentally prepare." She sniffed the air. "And maybe shower. _Fuck_ you smell. Anyways, either you talk to her today, or we go in there and drag her over here." With that, Leah turned on her heel and strode out of the room.

"Your choice, lover boy," were Embry's parting words.

Seth groaned, and fell back onto his bed. How the _fuck_ was he supposed to sleep when his bed was soaking wet?

Groaning the whole time, Seth made his way out to the hall and ripped a large, soft blanket out of the linen closet and collapsed on the couch. Rationally, he knew he should have been nervous. But all he could think about was closing his eyes and drifting off into a different world, where things were simple and the girl he loved, loved him back. Maybe this was some sort of alternative reality. If it was, at _least_ alternate reality Seth was happy. His eyes slipped shut, and his consciousness soon followed.

In this alternate, dream world, Alex was in a dress. A short, yellow dress that twirled when Alex spun. She was in a sunflower field, giggling as she looked back at him. Seth grinned at what he considered to be the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. The smile on her face was one of pure joy, and it made Seth feel lifted like he was in another world with her. His eyes fell to her exposed arms. They were clear, not a scratch or a cut. Just smooth, dark skin. There was not boot on her leg or exhaustion in her eyes. She was blissful. Alex looked back at him with a stunning smile and the sun sparkling in her eyes and extended her hand to him. Seth reached out to grab it, but every time his finger tips almost brushed hers, she pulled back with a giggle.

Seth smiled. She was teasing him. He lunged forward, trying to get a hold of her hand, but she moved quicker than him, which was impossible. She giggled again, giving Seth a wicked smile. She turned her head to the sky, letting the sun soak into her skin. Seth used this moment of distraction to grab hold of her hand. He froze. That wasn't Alex. Alex wasn't ice cold. He looked up at her, and his stomach dropped at the sight of a familiar, yet unfriendly blond. She smiled at him and gave a sickening laugh. Blood dripped down her chin, and she looked down at the floor with her blood red eyes. There lay his Alex, broken, yellow dressed blood stained.

He woke up in a cold sweat, panting. It took a moment for Seth to process that what he just experienced was a dream. A horrifying, _awful_ nightmare that made Seth consider never sleeping again. He sat upright on the couch for a minute or two, blanket wrapped tightly around his bare shoulders. The blond was dead, he kept telling himself. There was no way she could hurt her. Seth inhaled, trying to take a nice, relaxing breath.

Fuck, he smelled like shit.

Briefly, he thought of the ultimatum his sister and Embry had given him and his legs started working before his brain did. "I gotta shower," he mumbled to himself, practically running towards the bathroom and turning on the hot water. His brain was several steps ahead of his body. His hand was washing out his dirty, greasy hair but in his head, he was thinking about whether or not he had any clean close left. He stepped out of the shower, smelling like mint, which was considerably better than the dirt and sweat smell he had before.

Quickly as he could, he dug through his laundry and found an _alright_ smelling pair of shorts and threw them on. Did he need a shirt? He probably needed a shirt. It probably wouldn't be appropriate for him to talk about his feelings with his fucking _nipples_ poking out. Shit, he didn't have time to think about it. He put on a random shirt and was on his way down the stairs and out the door.

Halfway down his driveway, he paused. He couldn't just show up at her house after their last encounter. Could he? Seth ran a hand through his still-wet hair. He was rushing into this. What would he even say to her? There were so many things Seth needed to tell her but every time he imagined opening his mouth to speak to her he couldn't think of any words. In a second, he ran back to his room. Maybe the bed was dry and he could get some sleep.

Seth burst through his front door and marched towards his room, leaning against the doorway, letting his brain get the best of him once more. While he knew he couldn't just walk through the door, he couldn't avoid this forever, and he didn't want to. He _needed_ to see her again. It was the only thing that would relieve them both. Embry said she missed him, and she must have been feeling some sort of pain if that was true? Yeah, it had to be. Making up his mind, Seth went to rush towards her house when he heard his phone buzz on his nightstand. He froze, knowing there was only one person who texted him.

Quick as he could, Seth grabbed the phone and opened the message. His heart beat quicker with every word he read. His eyes scanned over the sentence a few times before he threw the device on his bed and ran back outside, his decision finally made.

Seth didn't believe Embry when he said she looked like shit because he couldn't imagine her looking _anything_ less than beautiful. But when she opened her front door, Seth could only describe her as drained. Beautiful, but drained. When he looked into her eyes for the first time in ten days, he felt an unbelievable rush of relief. She looked tired, and there were bags under her eyes, but she was there in front of him, breathing.

Neither one of them said anything for a while. Both stood, taking in the other. Seth tried to memorize every detail of her in that exact moment. Her hair was frizzy, practically leaping out of the loose bun she had thrown it in. There was no makeup on her face, and Seth had a feeling she hadn't put it on in a while. Her lips were chapped and on the verge of bleeding, as if she had been chewing them up. Seth couldn't help but glance down at her arms, which were exposed by a navy blue shirt, and he was more than pleased to see there was no change to them. And her eyes. Once Seth fell back into them, he was sure he'd never be able to get back out. They swirled with emotion, some of them good, some of them bad. He was so mesmerized by every detail, he forgot how to speak. "Hi," she whispered in her low, raspy voice.

"Hi," Seth managed, struggling to find the words to say.

Alex stared at him for a bit, before shaking her head. "Would this be a better conversation to have outside, or would you like to come in?" she offered awkwardly, shifting weight from one leg to another. She was nervous. Seth could hear her heartbeat.

"Whatever's best for you," he replied softly, wanting only for her to be comfortable. She nodded slowly and opened the door wider for Seth to come in. Unsure, he stepped into her home and was overwhelmed by the smell of _her_. He missed it here. Closing the door, she walked towards the living room, not once looking back to make sure Seth was following her. He was, of course.

She didn't sit on the couch but instead stood with her arms crossed over her chest. Defensive posture. "Are you afraid of me?" Seth questioned, and Alex looked up at him with a startled expression. "Please don't be afraid."

Alex scoffed. "How do you not expect me to be afraid? That's a ridiculous request." Her eyes narrowed and she looked at him as he was some sort of threat. "I know you could hurt me. It would be all too easy for you to kill me," she said, voice fading into a whisper as her head dropped to the ground.

Seth's heart broke. "Alex," he said, voice breaking at her name. Fuck, he couldn't cry. Not in front of her. "Alex I could _never_ hurt you. Never. Hurting you would..." he trailed off, not sure how to put what exactly it would do to him into words, "it would ruin me, Alex. I wouldn't be able to live with myself." There was a pain in his voice that even Seth heard. Alex eyed him curiously. "I would take myself out of this world before I ever hurt you, Alex."

A gasp fell out of her lips at his words, and her eyes widened. It was, in all honesty, true. Dying for Alex wasn't even something Seth had to think twice about. He would do it in a heartbeat, and he knew just how _sick_ that was. "So it's true," she spoke after a small pause. "Embry told me about it, and when he did, I had a suspicion."

"What did Embry tell you about, Alex?" Seth asked quietly, eyes falling to the ground. He knew exactly what Embry told her about, and, not for the first time in his life, Seth wanted to kick the shit out of him.

There was another silence in the room as Seth refused to meet her eye. For some reason, he was ashamed of himself, and he couldn't bear to look her in the eyes when she said the word. "Imprinting," she said. "He told me about imprinting, Seth."

For the first time, Seth wanted to leave. He wanted to walk out of the room and avoid this conversation for the rest of time because _fuck_ this is not how he imagined it happening. This isn't what he wanted. "What did he tell you?" Seth asked, keeping his eyes trained on the carpet on her living room floor. He was trying to keep his anger at bay but _fuck_ how badly did everything have to be fucked up?

"He said it was like finding your other half, like finding your soulmate." Seth could feel Alex staring at him, waiting for him to make a move, waiting for him to give her anything. But he didn't move. He didn't speak. "Is it true, Seth?"

"You're going to have to be a little bit more specific than-"

"Did you imprint on me, Seth Clearwater?"

There it was. _There_ was the question she should have never asked. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be happy. He would have told her about the _werewolf_ thing, given her some time to get used to it. Then he would have sat down with her and explained everything in detail. He would have told her that he would love her no matter what and that she meant more to him than he could ever imagine but _fuck_ nothing could ever go right. Everything was so wildly fucked that Seth had no clue if he could ever _unfuck_ it. So he told her the truth. "Yeah, Alex. I did. I imprinted on you."

A million seconds passed between them. He didn't dare lift his eyes out of fear of what her reaction might be. Instead, he listened to her brathing. Steady, in and out. Controlled. Even. She wasn't having the erratic reaction he thought she would. There was no cursing him or lecturing him. Just silence. Silence between two people who once never had a moment void of vivid conversation. Seth was ready to turn around. He was ready to leave. There was only so much rejection he could handle. In the moment of silence, Seth was convinced he would be destined to a life of sitting outside her house, watching as a silent guardian, making sure she was happy, safe and satisfied without him. With every second of silence, his heart broke. He was _so ready_ to leave, but his feet were planted to the floor, possibly growing roots. And he couldn't take it anymore.

"Can you just say something before I- _oof_."

Alex was there. Alex was _there._ She wasn't standing across the room with awkward, defensive posture. She was wrapping her arms around his neck, feet slightly dangling as she buried her face into his neck. It took Seth some time to comprehend exactly _what_ was happening, but his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, tighter. All the pain he felt in the past ten days, all the exhaustion and hurt and sadness, was worth it for Alex to be in his arms just that moment. Alex. Alex. " _Alex."_ He could get enough of her name, of _her,_ after being deprived of it for so long.

"I want to take it slow," she mumbled into his shoulder.

He nodded. "Whatever you want, Alex. Whatever you want me to be, I'll be it for you. But I'm yours, Alex."

He couldn't cry. He held off this long without crying and if he did now he would _officially_ be a pussy. "For so long, I've wanted things to be normal and for things to be better. All I wanted was to escape my past, and I wanted to live a life that was typical, expected," she tightened her grip around his neck. "I tried to push you out because this whole _thing_ would have put a damper on my dreams of being normal. But I can't be happy without you in my life, Seth Clearwater. It's impossible."

"I'm so sorry for everything that happened," he whispered into her hair. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you. This isn't how things were supposed to happen and I _never_ wanted to to get hurt."

Alex shushed him, running a hand through his hair. "It's okay, Seth. We're okay. Everything's going to be okay now."

Seth held onto her tighter, praying that she was right.


	14. fourteen (alex)

**srry i havent updated since 1997**

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"Hi, Alex."

"Hi, whitey."

"Are you ever gonna stop calling me whitey?"

"Are you ever going to stop being white?"

Dr. Cullen, the evil lady vampire that surely had a desire to suck my blood until I was dead, smirked. It was a closed mouth smirk, so I couldn't see her razor sharp death fangs, ready to sink into my skin at any moment. "So, race differences aside, what's on the evil agenda for today?"

I shrugged, kicking my feet up on an empty chair in the office. "I dunno. I've been considering establishing communism in the U.S. It's a goal I've had for a while, but I've thought it to be quiet unobtainable. But now that I have a werewolf guardian angel, I think I can use that as a weapon against the government," I said, letting out a loud, overdone sigh and entangling my fingers over my gut. "Don't try to stop me, doc. I'll have my werewolf boyfriend and his werewolf pack rip off the heads of you and all my other political adversaries."

"Wasn't planning on it. I noticed you said werewolf boyfriend."

My left eyebrow spiked up. "Did I? Slip of the tongue. I have no boyfriends, just friends that are boys. I do have three wives, and several mistresses, however." The relationship between Seth and I had fundamentally returned to normal. We hung out just the same, talked just the same, and acted just the same. The only thing that was really different was that I constantly teased him for essentially being a furry and pointed at dogs in public and asked if he knew what they were thinking. He was extremely respectful of my wish to take things slow, which honestly was kind of frustrated, as I kind of wanted to fuck. I wasn't about to tell that to anyone, though.

"So how are you handling the truth since you talked to Seth again?" dear Esmee questioned. At the beginning of therapist-patient relationship, I found her incessant questioning about my emotions to be absolutely insufferable. However, as time goes on, I find them to be increasingly more insufferable, as she is obtaining more and more information about my stupid life, and therefore asking more accurate questions that are far more difficult to avoid.

I was running low on witty responses, as I now spent most of my time with Seth instead of sitting in my room alone planning out conversations. "Y'know, it's been really difficult. But I think I'm actually starting to come to terms with it. Yeah, having a furry as a best friend might get a little difficult, but I think-"

Esmee cut me off. "That's the third time you've made a furry joke, Alex. You're slipping."

"Listen doc, we all have off days."

She hummed, crossing her legs. I stared at them, wondering if vampires needed to shave. "And have you talked to Seth about your history?"

"I thought we agreed to never talk about my personal problems unless I brought them up. Not very professional to break rules, Ezzie. Can I call you Ezzie?"

"No you may not, and that was never part of our agreement."

Pursuing my lips, I stood and looked down at her. "Hmm, it wasn't? Too bad. Well, anyways, looks like that's time. See you next week, doc. Maybe you'll make a breakthrough."

"You know, just because you ignore the problems, doesn't mean they're not there," she stated softly as I stepped out the door. I didn't pause. I knew she was right, I just really did not want to hear it.

There were several "problems" currently occurring, and several previous ones that will occasionally make a reappearance in my day-to-day life. Primarily that my best and closest friend is obviously and almost dangerously in love with me and my chosen path has been to ignore every hint, indication, or sign of the truth. Pretending the whole "imprinting" thing isn't real has really been my primary method of coping. I'm not quiet ready to belong to someone.

There also seems to be a slight issue in the blood suckers department; the issue being there is a lot of them. Seth won't let me go anywhere alone. If I'm not with him, I'm with Embry, who is still a fucking nightmare. I am constantly being babysat. My dads have essentially been deemed completely useless when it comes to protecting me and themselves, so there is always a giant werewolf outside of my house at any given point in time.

There also happened to be a giant werewolf waiting outside Dr. Cullen's office, leaning against his pick up truck with a big stupid grin that was so goddamn cute. "That was fast," Seth commented as I wobbled towards him. My ankle was almost healed. I was able to remove the stupid boot, but I had to walk around with a brace and a slight limp. "Are you sure you're only supposed to be in there fifteen minutes?"

I scoffed, pushing past him to open the door to driver's seat and climbing in. "It's supposed to be an hour, but she tried to suck my blood in a weird vampire frenzy, so I had to scadoodle out of there."

In one swift and heart stopping moment, Seth turned towards me and snaked his arm around my waist, leaving his hand to tightly grip my hip. He gently pushed me across the cushions in to the passenger side, leaning me backwards as he hovered over me slightly. His chest over mine, his nose almost touching mine, his eyes burning into mine, and my chin buried into my neck. I forgot how to think. Or breathe. I forgot virtually everything. I am almost certain I died.

"You know no one's lips are allowed on you, right? I'd have to kill 'em," he said in a very low, dangerously intoxicating voice.

This was a very drastic and sudden change in mood.

"Yeah, I picked up on that," I whispered back, feeling stupid about he vulnerability of my voice.

The intense stare turned back into a stupid grin. "Good!" he chirped, turning back into his normal self and pushing off of me, as I was thrust into the passenger seat. "You know I'm driving, right?"

I frowned. Sexual tension was used as a weapon against me to get to the driver's seat. "Perish, Clearwater."

He laughed, and I wish I had the ability to make him fear me. "So what's on your mind today, love?"

Seth did that a lot. He didn't say my name. He hasn't called me Alex in a while, and he only does it when he's vaguely annoyed at my childish antics. No, it's usually, "love," or "honey," or something of that vaguely romantic nature. It made me feel a way. And also, that the "taking it slow" thing might be harder than I had thought.

I shrugged. "Not much. There's so much nonsense going on in my head that it's hard to grab onto one singular thought. Mostly, there's a lot of screaming going on in there."

Seth paused for a moment. "So what did you and Es-"

I cut him off sharply. "You know you're not allowed to ask that."

Seth knew I was going to therapy, and the two of us came to an agreement. He was allowed to drop me off and pick me up from every appointment, but he was not allowed to ask about what I had talked about in there, on the off chance that I had said something substantial. There was a lot of "don't ask, don't tell," going on between us. I didn't really ask about his supernatural rendezvous and he didn't ask me about my traumatized past. This only bothered one of us.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, staring straight ahead at the road. He looked frustrated, and I understood. My complete refusal to discuss my problems was an indication of distrust, or at least that's what Seth thought. "It's getting pretty hot out," he said casually. "The sun is actually coming out these days."

"I know. How long has it been since you've seen the sun? Or is it your first time seeing the sun? Holy shit Seth, are you loosing your sun virginity?"

I expected at least a chuckle or a furious blush from the boy, but instead he just stared ahead, jaw clenched. He looked nervous. "You don't have to wear long sleeves around me."

The words he said were so casual, but the weight behind them hit my gut like a brick. I knew exactly what he meant; I knew what he saw the day I was sick. I should have found comfort in his words; they were words of reassurance. I didn't have to worry about his judgment. But when he said them, I felt violated. I feel naked in a crowded room. The power of denial wouldn't work anymore.

"Okay."

"Wait, Alex, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean-"

"Mean what?" I questioned innocently. "It's warm out, why wouldn't I wear short sleeves?"

Seth sighed, defeated. "Yeah, I guess."

For the rest of the ride we drove in silence. Very heavy, very awkward silence. Seth had brought up two of the four things I absolutely refuse to discuss with him. He was getting restless, I could tell. He wanted closure. He wanted something other than my constant denial. He wanted me to stop pretending.

He dropped me off in front of my house without saying a word, but placing a soft kiss on my hand.

For minutes after he left, I stood there wondering if I was capable of not pretending.

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 **this chapter is bad i know let me get back into the swing of things ok**


	15. fifteen (alex)

**another alex chapter bc i can do whatever i want happy 1 year anniversary to when i published this story there are so many plot holes**

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I had previously been under the impression that I am always, without a doubt, right. As it turns out, I am not, as I had thought, the human embodiment of perfection, and I too, can sometimes be wrong.

Truly shocking.

Embry sat in the car seat next to me, flipping through my pack of C.D's, examining each one with a stupid and unnecessarily amount of detail. Embry Call, a fool and an imbecile, had decided it was his personal responsibility to micromanage my personal life and take a roll as my second yet full time therapist. The boy followed me around like a puppy, a big dumb stupid puppy, dedicated to making my life a living hell. Whenever I wasn't with Seth, minding my own goddamn business, Embry would appear and demand to go somewhere or do something, inevitably forcing me to listen to him lecture me on my life. Today, he had burst through my front door and demanded we go on a "scenic adventure."

I was tempted to drive him off a cliff.

However, today was different than the rest of his pestering. He hadn't said a word to me since he demanded I drive him around in the Jeep. He just sat there, looking through my shit like it was his own, sometimes giving me last minute directions. He didn't even make fun of me for my High School Musical or Backstreet Boys albums, he just made occasional humming noises. "So like, are we going anywhere, are you ever going to say anything to me? What's the deal here?" I questioned, getting fed up with his silence.

"Huh," he said simply, not looking back up at me, as I kept glancing over at him, "so, you do think it's kind of annoying when people refuse to talk to you? Can't imagine what that's like. I wonder how Seth would feel about that. Hmm."

My jaw clenched. I hated his logic, but didn't have the emotional energy to point out the fallacies, because I understood. I knew I was driving Seth insane, but I continued to do out. Out of selfishness? Yes, essentially. "Okay whatever," I grumbled. "But can you at least tell me where the fuck we're going?" I hated this game Embry played, making me drive all over the place just to lead me to nowhere.

"We're almost there," he said softly. "Just for the record, Alex, I find your hypocrisy to be fairly amusing."

"I find you to be highly annoying."

Embry smirked. "Beautiful."

For a bit more we drove in silence, and I knew I should have been appreciative of these few rare moments of Embry just shutting the fuck up for once, but I couldn't. As annoying as his constant rambling was, his silence was unnerving, which was substantially worse. I felt as if I were in trouble with a parent. The silent treatment worked almost too well on me; every second we drove I felt my patience wearing thinner and thinner and I contemplated stabbing Embry in the eye.

Finally, he had directed me to make one last turn onto a dirt road. I lightened the pressure on the accelerator, and as we got closer, I realized there were several clear parking spots right before the edge of a steep looking hill. "Embry," I said, putting the car in park, "did you take me to a fucking _make out hill_?"

The boy scoffed. "Why is your mind so dirty? Can I not take you to a pleasant location with a nice view without you making it perverted? God, I can't believe you'd say that. Are all women like this? Anyways, yes this is a make out hill. _But,_ " he said loudly as I raised my hand to hit him in the arm, "we are not here to make out. Unless, of course, you want to."

"I'd rather kill myself."

Embry smirked. "You're so kind. Anyways, I brought you here because this place is kind of like a scene from a vintage horror movie right about now. Tons of leeches are sucking the blood out of hikers and smoochers alike. It's like, a huge blood bath. Like I'm pretty sure if you got out of the car you'd find blood on some surface or another. They did a segment on it on the news. I'm sure you'd know that if you watched the news." Embry spoke of this so nonchalantly, with his hands folded behind his head and a grin on his face like this was the gnarliest thing that's ever happened.

"Hmm okay, great, why am I here?"

"Oh you? You're bait, Alex. I was gonna get out of the car and leave you here for a few hours, see what happens, y'know?"

I stared at Embry, blank faced. I started the car again.

"Wait no!" he yelled as I went to put the car in reverse. "I was only joking. None of that is true. I lied because I thought your reaction would be funny, and it was."

"Oh my _god_ , have I ever told you how much I hate you?" I yelled at him, taking the keys out of the ignition. "Like, why did you think that was funny. Are you fucking _stupid_? _Haha I'm Embry I'm gonna joke about a traumatizing event in Alex's life and then make her think I'm gonna put her in that situation again._ Like god, you're such an asshole. Oh my _god_. I'm gonna tell Seth on you."

"Wow, that would be the first thing you tell Seth about in what, your life?" Embry snapped back quickly, letting any joking tone in his voice completely disappear. It was the first time I had heard Embry snap, heard him sound angry. I wasn't afraid. His anger ignited mine, and I instantly grew more enraged. "You know, Alex, I thought you were alright. I was glad Seth found you, I was glad you were his imprint. And honestly, I had never believed in this whole imprinting shit before. I thought it was stupid and pathetic. I mean two dudes imprinted on a fucking _baby_. And then I met you, and I saw how perfect you and Seth are for each other, how well you balance each other out, and I thought, _alright, maybe this shit as some merit to it_. But then, you Alex, oh my god Alex, you're such a fucking _bitch_."

"Excuse me?" I retorted.

"Yeah, you're a bitch," he stated again, daring to stare me directly in the eye. "You don't treat Seth the way he deserves. Time after time, he sacrifices so much for you. He does extra patrols and loses sleep just to make sure you're safe. He does _literally_ anything you ask him to do, even if it hurts him. He would do anything to make you happy. And you take advantage of that. You ignore him. You snap at him. You hide things from him. And then you act like you're the victim, and Seth believes that too. He thinks he's the bad guy for trying to care for you."

"Why are you acting like I'm doing all of this on purpose? Like this is some grand scheme of mine to hurt Seth. I didn't ask for any of this! I didn't ask for Seth to imprint on me!"

"Well Seth didn't ask for it either! But now he's stuck with some bitch of an imprint who thinks her entire life is a joke and likes to mutilate her arms for fun!"

My jaw locked. I glared at Embry and he glared right back at me. My breathing was heavy. Every single inch of my body felt like it was on fire. My lungs were ready to explode. "Fuck you," I said, lowly but full of rage. I whipped around and pushed open the door, storming out of my own car and walking towards the road.

I didn't turn back, but I heard Embry slam the door behind me. "That's typical. You're gonna walk away from something when it gets too hard for you?"

"I'm walking away because I don't have to deal with you. You're not my friend, you're not anything to me. I don't have to listen to your bullshit."

Embry was a much quicker walker than I, and he caught up to me and yanked on my arm to pull me back towards him. Instinctively, I raised my fist towards him, but his hand caught mine before I could begin to swing. "It's tough love, kid. You don't deserve Seth but he's stuck with you anyways, so I'm going to make sure you shape up before you hurt him anymore."

"Don't act like I owe you anything," I spat at him. "I don't know why you're involving yourself in this like you know anything about me."

"I know that you're pushing Seth away."

"You ever think I'm pushing Seth away because I'm not ready for this? Because I'm not ready to be involved with something, because I'm not ready to trust again; I'm not ready to be _owned_ because of some stupid werewolf rule."

"But _why_?" Embry yelled back, growing more and more frustrated with every word. "Why, Alex? You're so fucking miserable, and the universe hands you Serth, someone who is literally meant to make you happy and you won't give him an inch. Why? Why do you refuse to let him in?"

" _Because I was abused, Embry_!" I snapped, voice almost at a screech. His face fell at my words, and his hand dropped from my arm. "Because the only guy I've ever dated hurt me! Because he forced me to do things and then took pictures! And you know what he did with those pictures? He spread them around my fucking high school. The school didn't expel him because he was a fucking trust fund baby and his dad was responsible for all the donations. The harassment drove me to a suicide attempt and we had to fucking leave. I don't trust men! I'm not ready to put myself in a vulnerable position again, _but that's what you all expect me to do._ So is that what you wanted to hear? Are you satisfied now?"

Embry stood silent for a moment, his whole body shaking. "I'll kill him."

"Kill yourself," I spat venomously, "that'd make life a lot easier on me."

I turned my back on Embry and got back in my Jeep. He was still standing there in silence when I sped past him, and I didn't give a fuck. I drove past him and didn't look back. I didn't shed a single tear, just gripped the steering wheel until my fingers were white and cursed myself for thinking I'd be a lot happier if Seth was there.

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 **lmao everyone's got a fkcn ATTITUDE problem mayb relax alex u dumb asshole srry for all the plot holes i've changed the course i want this story to go on since i started it a YEAR ago**


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